Amusing Title to a News Article

Poll: Nation split on Bush as uniter or divider

Yet Another QB Comparison

Here's two more QB's for comparison.

Player	YDS	RTG	TD	INT	COMP %	YPA
QB 1:	238	69.3	0	1	64.3 (27/42)	5.67
QB 2:	182	65.5	0	1	63.6 (21/33)	5.52

You'll find it amazing when QB 1 identified as Peyton Manning yesterday and QB 2 is Chad Pennington on Saturday. The Patriots basically turned Manning into Pennington. Check out their longest completions - Manning's was only for 18 yds where Pennington's was 30 yds.

You May Have Overlooked...

Since today is Martin Luther King Jr Day, I thought it might be appropriate to acknowledge some of the other famous people born on January 17. Of course, Martin Luther King Jr was born on January 15, but since that was a Saturday it's better that we celebrate on a work day so we don't have to do anything.

Here are some famous 1/17 birthdays (thanks to www.famousbirthdays.com)

Benjamin Franklin
Al Capone
James Earl Jones
Maury Povich
Muhammad Ali
Andy Kaufman
Jim Carrey
Kid Rock

Between all these guys, they founded Philadelphia, stole amazing amounts of money from the government, been in many well known movies, interviewed scores of pregnant teenagers, beaten up some of the best boxers in the world and slept with tons of women. That's quite a list of accomplishments, so here's to you, the "other" birthday boys today.

Faulty Logic, Starring Phil Mushnick

If you don't know Phil Mushnick, he writes a sports media criticism column for the New York Post. Most of the time it's either amusing or absurd. So here's some absurd.

In today's column he faults Mike and the Mad Dog for criticizing Joe Buck after reacting strongly to the Randy Moss fake mooning. The main point that the sports talk duo was making was that Joe Buck is on the FOX network, and other "disgusting acts" occur in their other programming. Mushnick says that Mike and the Mad Dog are in no position to criticize Buck for making those comments because also on WFAN is the Imus show, which can often be crude.

It's not like Mike and the Mad Dog were criticizing the Terrell Owens Monday Night Football opening or the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Here, they're talking about how an announcer was overreacting to something in poor taste, but really, it's not like he actually mooned the crowd, gave someone the finger or hit someone.

If we use the logic in the Mushnick article, he has no right to criticize Mike and the Mad Dog or Joe Buck because his paper printed, for example, a cover photo of a girl committing suicide last year.

What drives me most nuts about the New York Post is how sanctimonious it is, and worse, that people read it, agree with it, and pass judgement the way it does.

I Hate the Patriots

Don't ever underestimate the New England Patriots. That's the lesson that keeps getting beaten into me week after week while watching pro football. I would be very, very, very surprised if the Pats don't repeat as champs again. Yes, they lost at Pittsburgh earlier this year, but don't forget, Corey Dillon wasn't in the game. Things will fall into place next week, as Atlanta surprises Philly and the Steelers get knocked out.

Why do I hate the Patriots? Well, I have to admit, that hate is turning more and more into respect. But it all started because Belichek bolted from the Jets coaching job, took the Jet coordinators and a bunch of old Jet retread players and won the Super Bowl.

The Headline Should Read: Time Management Costs Jets Game

Poor Doug Brien. Everyone's going to blame him for the Jets playoff loss, but it wasn't really his fault. The offense only managed three points. Then there's the time management issue...

The Jets have a coach, Dick Curl, whose specialty is helping the head coach, Herman Edwards with time and clock management. With 1:37 remaining in the game, the Jets gained posession of the football after an interception at the Pittsburgh 36 yard line.

They get a first down on the first play, bringing the ball to the Pittsburgh 26. That's about a 45 yard field goal.

Let's go back to last week. In overtime, against the Jets, the San Diego Chargers had the ball at the Jets 22 yard line and ran three consecutive running plays right up the middle. They did this because they wanted to play it safe, and the Jets knew they would try to run, so they stacked the box and the Chargers gained about one or two yards. The result was that the San Diego kicker had to hit a 40 yard field goal, while they ought to have tried one pass to either score a TD or bring it a little closer to the end zone.

Now, back to the Steelers game. The stack the box because they know that now the Jets are in field goal range, they may play it safer. The Jets do exactly what the Chargers did -- leisurely allowing time to run out as they try to jam the ball up the middle. They were playing on the road in a stadium that is very difficult to kick in. They saw this exact scenario the week before. They do not even attempt to stretch the field. So was it any surprise that Doug Brien missed the second kick? In fact, with six seconds left, the Jets called a time out, then took a knee and called another time out with four seconds left!! What is going on? They have a separate coach for time management!

What a sour taste towards the end of a mostly well played game.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 9

On the ninth day, the Lord said, "Let there be fuzz."

Two Wacky Items on the Channel 2 Noon News

Wacky Item #1
New Yorkers owe backtaxes for cigarettes they bought over the Internet. Do cigarette taxes apply for interstate commerce? If you buy from amazon.com there's no sales tax. Isn't it the merchant's responsibility to collect and pay the taxes? If the taxes do apply, isn't the internet merchant's responsibility to know about the taxes then collect them from the person? I thought in sales transactions merchants collected and paid the taxes. Oh well, guess I'll have to take a few days off from studying tax code.

Wacky Item #2
A story designed to just to play to people's fears. A man who is on a terror watch list made it onto a British Airways flight. They discovered the error and transferred the passengers to another flight after another security check. Interviews on the tv news had the passengers saying how scared they were. I understand he's on a watch list, but he's not a convicted or charged crook yet...

Need to Write a Story? Why Not Write a Story About the Coverage of a Story?

Of course, this post could also be called, "Want to write a blog post? Why not write a post about a story about a story?"

Another Product That Makes My Eleven Month Old iPod Seem Out of Date

iPod Shuffle. It doesn't even hold anywhere near the amount of songs that my 15 GB iPod does. But my 3G iPod seems old, like it has no storage space, and colorless. I am a slave to marketing.

Approximately Sixty Guys Who Are Glad The Yankees Got Johnson and the Mets Got Beltran

aka "The New York Jets"

Photoshop and Newspapers

Should a "news" paper really use Photoshop to create cover images? Here's the Jan 11 back page sports image from the NY Post. Just seems like a conflict of interest. With Photoshop, anything can happen! For example, I used Photoshop on my profile photo to make it look like I have a thumb.

Salary Scale

Am I the only one who finds it fairly amusing that Armstrong Williams got paid $240,000 to support the "No Child Left Behind" Act, but the Vice President only gets paid about $200,000 per year?

In a related story, who the hell is Armstrong Williams?

Next Time You're On Hold, Don't Say Anything Important

According to the NY Times, "your call may be monitored" means that even when you're put on hold, someone could be listening.

Approximately One Sentence About Each Piece of Media I've Consumed in the Last Few Weeks

House of Flying Daggers - An entertaining film but a bit melodramatic.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - I liked Royal Tennenbaums better because the characters were deeper. On the other hand, I didn't like Rushmore, so take my opinion for what it's worth.

Simpsons Season 5 - Best. Season. Ever?

Elf - Cute, but I couldn't help feel like I was watching Will Ferrell act like a kid way too much.

Return of the King Extended Edition - 50 extra minutes to the theatrical cut. If you liked it the first time, you'll love the extended cut. If not, it's the same as the theatrical plus 50 minutes. What do you think?

U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - They co-marketed this with the release of a U2 themed iPod. This is not their strongest work.

Linkin Park/Jay-Z Collision Course - A CD with only 6 songs (21 minutes)!! And the RIAA wonders why people steal music.

Metal Gear Solid 3 - Great video game. I wish I had more time. Not as confusing as MGS2 (at least, so far).

America by Jon Stewart - Just about every sentence in this book makes me laugh.

Meet the Fockers - Not as charming as the first. Funny enough, but not a classic.

Arrested Development Season 1 - This show is hilarious. Watch it.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 6

Nothing to report. It looks the same as on Day 1. I think it's too cold and dark.

QB Comparison

Here are two QB's for playoff teams. One has been highly regarded this season, the other has been questioned quite a bit. Guess which is which.

Player	YDS	RTG	TD	INT	COMP %	GAMES
QB 1:	2673	91.0	16	9	65.4	13
QB 2:	2621	98.1	17	11	66.4	14

Who are these two QB's? Why they're former MAC all-stars, Chad Pennington (QB1) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB2)! Their numbers are quite close but for some reason Pennington is a dog while Roethlisberger is the next big thing. I guess the difference is in the yards per attempt -- 7.22 for Pennington and 8.89 for Roethlesberger. But overall, very similar numbers. If the Jets want to have any shot at winning, they need to take an early lead and force Roethlisberger to throw the ball. He has not had more than 25 passing attempts in any game.

Suddenly, this became an NFL blog

Did my life really become that boring???

NFL Playoffs Divisional Round

Whoa.

All the teams in the divisional round played in the regular season. Not to mention, they all played at the same venues they'll play at next weekend. In each case, the higher seed won the regular season match-up.

Week 1 Indianapolis (24) at New England (27)
Week 2 Minnesota (16) at Philadelphia (27)
Week 2 St. Louis (17) at Atlanta (34)
Week 14 NY Jets (6) at Pittsburgh (17)

Three Observations: Minnesota at Green Bay

I write these with 4:29 left in the game, Minnesota leading 31-17.

Observation #1 - Was tackling made illegal in Green Bay, WI? That's the only plausible explanation for the Packers defense. These guys couldn't tackle a grandmother.

Observation #2 - Yes, Brett Favre is a Hall of Fame QB, and everyone is due to have bad games. On the other hand, if a younger or less established player had the sort of game that Favre has had, there would be a lot more scrutiny about that player's abilities. Favre has been awful in this game, and completely careless. He's fortunate he's a veteran and one of the best, but this has been a dreadful performance on his part. Hopefully someone will also consult him regarding his dopey play right before the half, where on 3rd and 6 with about 20 seconds left, he scrambled for 5 yards, then tossed the ball carelessly into the end zone when he realized he wouldn't get the first down as he was chased out of bounds. Not only was it an illegal forward pass (with a five yard penalty) it could have easily been picked up by a defender (and it would have counted as an INT). They would have also had 4th and inches, which was probably a good situation to go for it at the end of the half, especially considering they were down 24-10.

Observation #3 - So Mike Sherman has lost two home playoff games at Lambeau Field. Two more than any other Packers coach ever. That's not something to be proud of.

Second Place is First Loser

The best thing about Shaun Alexander's complaint that the Seahawks' coaching staff "stabbed him in the back" by not allowing him to get the 2 rushing yards he needed to claim the NFL rushing title this year is that as he enters contract negotiations, teams can rub it in and say, "We'd give that money to the back with the most rushing yards, but not the second-most."

I Think the Rams Have a Good Shot

If you watch the St. Louis Rams play, you wonder how they are so successful. Managing time outs? Time of Possession? Turnovers? Rushing Yards? Defense? Special Teams? Irrelevant.

Instead, they have this unrelenting, amazing offense. A long drive is one that lasts six or seven plays. A 40+ yard pass play is pedestrian. They're so fast. According to the commentators of yesterday's game, they don't have audibles, just a ton of WR option routes.

Why do I think they have a good shot?

Minnesota, Green Bay and Atlanta rank 29, 25 and 24 in the NFL in passing defense yards. They've beaten Philly in the recent past in the championship game (2001). Their toughest game will be next week at Philly. Then they have to hit the road at Green Bay (no secondary) or at Minnesota/Atlanta (dome teams). This team has a chance.

Jets vs. Chargers - NFL Playoffs

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Jets really had me worried for a while. Do you think the Barton hit at the end of regulation was a cheap hit? I think it was borderline, and my belief is late in games that borderline calls should be non-calls.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 1

The first day. Let's see how well Chia Mr. T will grow. Hopefully this is not a "cold window sill" that will be too harsh.

"You will notice your first Chia sprouts within a few days."

I Am So Smart. S-M-R-T.

On November 9th, I said about the New York Jets:

---
10-6 isn't a guarantee of a wildcard but I think it's the mark they have to expect/shoot for. They can go 11-5 if they beat AZ and Cleveland and then go .500 vs Baltimore, Pittsburgh, New England, St. Louis, Seattle and Houston. If they're really a "good" team then that's not an unreasonable expectation.
---

Stream of Consciousness Section:

How hot is Buffalo now? It doesn't look good for Gang Green heading into San Diego but this week's game proved that it would have looked worse if they had faced the Colts. Herm Edwards has a clock/game management guy, they went for two and missed in the third quarter. Hitting an extra point would have won the game in regulation. On a side note: I noticed today that New England is only 0-1 versus elite teams, obviously misleading since they can't play themselves, but still, the kind of misleading stat one could put in a tabloid newspaper sports section.

Happy 2005! Here's a Rant About Holidays!

It's New Year's Day! Don't forget to monitor how long after New Year's people are wishing you a "Happy New Year."

I thought it might be a good time to have a brief one-sided discussion of cool and not cool holidays.

New Year's Day. If you're a kid, cool. You get to drink champagne and stay up late to watch a dopey ball drop. If you're an adult, not cool. Don't you realize that for lots of people, this isn't really the "new year?" (Rosh Hoshanna and Chinese New Year come to mind). Not to mention, it's just a license for people who usually aren't drunk to go and overpay for drinks while getting totally smashed and act like fools.

Thanksgiving. The best holiday, perhaps. It's all about family and eating a lot. The only downside - traveling.

Christmas. Gift getting and decorations are a plus. The entire holiday industry is a minus. Also, as the Daily Show said, it's the day off from work where the non-Christians ponder the true meaning of "separation of church and state."

Valentine's Day. Let's face it. When you're single, it's a losing proposition because everyone in the world reminds you that you're single. When you're dating there's all this pressure to come up with some sort of "fun" or "creative" thing to do that day. Perhaps this is best when you're married.

St. Patrick's Day. Any holiday where alcohol is emphasized is a good one.

Easter. Colored eggs are sort of creepy. This is a strange one. It's so intrinsically religious yet the Easter Bunny is so absolutely secular.

Fourth of July. One of my "big three" holidays along with Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's just a big party all afternoon and then there's fireworks.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day, Labor Day, Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Earth Day, Presidents Day. I've no quarrel with Martin Luther King Jr., Columbus, Veterans, Laborers, Mothers, Fathers, the Earth or Presidents (well, save one).

Passover. I've never been to a seder but it sort of sounds like Thanksgiving only with wine and matzah.

Halloween. Sort of like New Year's Day in that as a kid, it's great (free candy!) but as an adult sort of tired (women dress scandalously, and masked faces are somewhat unnerving). Also, another "amateur night" where those who usually don't act like idiots suddenly decide it would be a good time to.

Gas Station Top Off

I was at the gas station the other day, and when the attendant (in New Jersey, all stations are full serv) topped off the tank in order to make my total a round dollar amount, I couldn't help but wonder, what if I didn't want it topped off?

What if, I was totally prepared to pay $8.17 for my gas and didn't want it rounded off to $8.50? It seems to me that gas stations have been getting away with this for ages. They're adding about 5-10% to their revenue by my calculations from topping off people's gas tanks. That's gas we didn't ask for.

Then again, for convenience sake it makes a little sense. Perhaps at the deli they should top off too. Instead of a "half pound of ham" perhaps we should ask for "five dollars worth."

Clubs Part 2

A while back, I complained about not getting into a club after some guy who was part of the group I was with backstabbed me.

Well, once again, New York City clubs didn't let me down. Two weeks ago, the first place I tried to meet my (mixed gender group of) friends at didn't let me in because I was male and "the ratio was bad." Then the place I ended up at didn't let my friends in when they tried to meet me because it was "too crowded." Fortunately, as they say, the third time was the charm and we ended up drinking at the same place. Eventually. In some ways this was pretty damn funny. In other ways, it was just pretty damn irritating.

Ancient Art of War

The Ancient Art of War, a PC Games series by Broderbund Software was one of the best games on the market. It's the precursor to the real-time strategy games like Warcraft or Age of Empires.

A little background - Broderbund and Sierra Games used to be the kings of PC Gaming. Broderbund had Carmen Sandiego, Ancient Art of War and Print Shop to its name. Remember Carmen Sandiego? She had a television show! (Sierra, as an aside, had several series, such as King's Quest, Police Quest, Space Quest and Leisure Suit Larry).

Ancient Art of War is due for a remake. I think it may have been ahead of its time. You would move characters from an overhead map until they confront enemy soldiers, at which point you would switch to a zoomed in version of the battle. Your opponent would be one of six historical generals, each with different characteristics (as I recall, Crazy Ivan, Napoleon, Athena and Sun Tzu were all options). Your soldiers were either archers (ranged combat), barbarians (close combat) or knights (intermediate). With retro games all the rage, this game HAS to be brought back!!!

It's the End of the Year! Time for a "Best of 2004" List!!!

Just kidding. I hate these.

Start Your Own Free Portal Services Company!

I've noticed a lot of similarities between all these portal service companies (ie Yahoo!, Google) and also the ISP's (AOL, MSN) so I decided to post what seems to be the essentials to starting your own!

1. Search Engine. This seems to be the fundamental element. You can disguise your search engine as a "directory" but you'll probably need something to help the average person find their "naked pictures of [insert current popular young female celebrity here]."

2. Free Web-Based Email. Get a good spam filter and a ton of storage and you're rolling!

3. Browser Toolbar Utility. Include a pop up blocker for those people not using Mozilla or Windows XP SP 2. The toolbar has to include at least a few mysterious icons and a search field. It would also be a good idea to include your logo on this toolbar.

4. Instant Messenger Service. Also known as "IM" service. Start one of these so people can communicate with each other using obscure abbreviations and smile faces. In fact, if you can design a cartoon face set of emotions to substitute for the generic ":)" you'll be that much further ahead of the competition.

5. Personalized "My" Page. This page should have as many little custom boxes as possible. Let people customize it so they can have instant access to sports scores, weather, stock prices, news items and HOROSCOPES of their choice. You can use this to connect to your other portal services as well.

Optional:
The following services are optional to your portal services company. You could do without them but it is HIGHLY recommended that you pick at least three of these five and add them to your blooming company.

1. Desktop Search Program. This is the new frontier of portal services. If you could create an all-encompassing desktop search program that also integrates with the operating system and your internet search engine, you'll be in business. Be careful!!! Make sure you have a plan to reassure users that your program isn't going to spill their computer's contents all over the internet. Then make sure that your reassurances are true.

2. Calendar. If it can sync with a PDA or Outlook, it would be better.

3. Web Hosting. You're already offering 3GB of web based email service, what's a few more GB for web sites?

4. Blogging Service. Goes hand in hand with web hosting. Censor your blogs if you like, but if that's the case, have a reassurance plan to your users. Perhaps hire the same PR people who will get you out of the "Desktop Search Program" jam.

5. Groups/Newsgroups service. Because who really knows how to use newsgroups? Make it userfriendly and the people will come.

Finally, a word about advertising. You say, "Blogman, if I'm giving all this stuff away for free, how does my portal services company make any money?" (Yes, you are giving all the above services for free). Blogman says, "Advertising. The future is advertising."

Look at every one of these portal services as an opportunity for advertising. By offering services you'll get more subscribed users. Then, you can charge advertisers higher and higher rates as your market share increases. As mentioned, the search engine is the centerpiece of this. Anytime someone uses your service, there should be ads around.

Good luck starting your own portal services company! Remember, it's a tough market out there but if you're successful enough, maybe Microsoft will try to take you down! Once you start getting hate mail from Bill Gates, you'll know you've made it. I can't believe I wrote all this for free!

December 26, 2004 New England Patriots "versus" New York Jets

Well, we probably could have asked for half our money back since one team didn't show up to this game. The Patriots dominated this game. In two games versus the Pats, the Jets have put up 14 points. Last week, Miami scored 29. Apparently Chad Pennington didn't get the memo until the fourth quarter -- Santana Moss and he are on the same team!!!

On sports radio the fans are berzerk. But the fans were insane to begin with. One guy is clamoring for Quincy Carter!

Look, they played their worst game of the season and they picked a bad time to do it. The team isn't that bad.

While the Jets were awful last week, this talk of "beating elite teams" is a load of crap. Nobody has beaten the elite teams, that's why they're elite. If you look at these elite teams: New England, Pittsburgh and Philly, you'll find that of the four losses that these three teams have total, two are to Pittsburgh, one to Baltimore (in week 2) and one to Miami! Look at other AFC playoff contenders versus "elite teams" - Baltimore (1-3), Indianapolis (0-1), Buffalo (0-2, Pittsburgh next wk), and Denver and San Diego haven't even played any of these teams. The term "elite team" has become a cliche in New York the last few weeks and I have no idea where it began.

One other thing, everyone is talking about the Bills. Blah, blah, blah Bills so great, etc. As I recall, a few weeks ago, the Patriots destroyed the Bills. But look at the opposite in perception - the Bills are hot, "nobody" wants to play them but the Jets are "cold" and can't beat anyone. If Buffalo gets into the playoffs you have my guarantee that they will not beat New England.

Enjoy some full color photos.

A Non-Denominational Holiday Greeting from the Kitchen Fresh Blog

Have a nice day.

December 19, 2004 - New York Jets vs. Seattle Seahawks

Some things I saw. I decided not to include images of the man standing in front of us sticking his hands down his wife's pants. It was quite gross.

The Defense Department Discovers Mail Merge

Sort of a sad thing to say, but how personal are these letters?

Time Magazine Person of the Year

It's been announced.

This fine fellow gets to join distinguished company such as:

Adolf Hitler (1938)
Joseph Stalin (1939, 1942)
Nikita Khrushchev (1957)
Ayatullah Khomeini (1979)
The Computer (1982)
Earth (1988)
"The Two Bushes" (1989)
and himself (2000)

Looking through all the "people of the year" it seems that if you were a President, and not ever "person of the year," you stink. Also, there haven't been that many "women of the year," although back in 1975, "American Women" won the award...

Vince Carter to the Nets

It's sort of ironic. Vince Carter wants out of lower profile Canada so he can go to the USA and be a bigger star. So what happens? He goes to New Jersey, which is lower profile to New York, across the river.

Top of (most of) the Charts

A few vanity searches reveals that this blog is #1 on Yahoo! and MSN searches for "Kitchen Fresh Blog."

But a vanity google search reveals that this is #5. Google owns Blogger, who hosts this page! Come on, show a little love!!!

(Maybe I'll post some screenshots of proof...)

This News Story Made Me Laugh

Since there's nothing going on in my life worth reporting right now, I'll just relay some things from the news.

This story says that Colin Powell has expressed support for Kofi Annan, UN Secretary General, who has been under a lot of pressure lately.

I found this funny because...

...a guy who's quitting is expressing support for Kofi Annan (I wonder if that's Powell's personal opinion, or a Bush-approved opinion)

...it reminds me of when an sports team owner or GM says an embattled coach will be retained for the rest of the year and has his full support/vote of confidence. Then the coach gets fired at the end of the season. Did I mention that George Bush used to own a baseball team?

Washington Nationals No More?

Desperate to find a reason to post an image, I finally found one. If this story is true, this might be the last time you see the Washington Nationals home page for a while. Pretty embarrassing if you ask me...

And one of the reasons I don't post a lot of images is that I'm too lazy. Let's also note that this is an undoctored image of the Nationals website (http://washington.nationals.mlb.com) which I believe is © 2004 MLB Advanced Media, L.P. All rights reserved.

Mets Talk

The Mets are an interesting team. For all their talk about trying to get younger, they passed up on 28 year old Vladimir Guerrero because of concerns about his back. They sign 31 year old Mike Cameron instead. This year, they're now chasing 38 year old Moises Alou. Their injury concerns? Seem to be gone, since they're after Magglio Ordonez and Richie Sexson, both who missed time to injury last year. Oh, and no problem giving Pedro Martinez and his cranky right arm a four year contract!

Mets fans have to be wondering what's going on with their team.

(Arizona fans also have to wonder what's happening out in the southwest US, since the team claims they don't have enough money to keep Randy Johnson, then go out on the free agent market to get Russ Ortiz and Troy Glaus)

Yay, I've decided to write a post about Scott Peterson!

You say, "It's about time!"

The jury in the Scott Peterson case has recommended the death penalty. Now a morass of appeals awaits. Super!

This part of the article made me think of a simpler time:

"Cheers went up outside the courtroom as the jury announced its decision after 11 1/2 hours of deliberations over three days."

Let's go have ourselves a hangin'!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jealousy

Here's one suggested by a friend. Thanks, friend (you know who you are)!

This friend related to me that he once met one of his girlfriend's friends who seemed to hit on him. His girlfriend was there and noticed the overtures as well and was not appreciative.

This made me think about different gender reactions to these scenarios. Do you think this is true?

Scenario 1
A guy's friends tell him his girlfriend is hot. His response, "Hell yeah!"

Scenario 2
A girl's friends tell her that her boyfriend is hot. Her response, "Stay away!"

Scenario 3
A strange guy tries hitting on another guy's girlfriend. Stranger punched in jaw.

Scenario 4
A strange girl tries hitting on another girl's boyfriend. "No worries, he's all mine."

Are these realistic reactions?

Three Alarm Wake-Up

This scenario really reminds me of something out of a television show.

A person I know relayed this story to me and gave me permission to discuss it on my blog.

This person's significant other is the first one to wake up in the morning, but requires three alarm clocks to do so. Only on the third alarm does the s/o actually wake up! So this person I know was frustrated by being woken up by three alarms in the morning and decided to preemptively shut off the first two alarms and prevent them from ringing. Of course, this measure leads to the s/o wondering why they continually oversleep the first two alarms.

Secret Santa Web Service

This was such a good idea, I hesitated before putting it on this blog.

A multi-product shopping site, such as amazon.com or walmart.com could institute a great secret santa service for organizations or families doing a secret santa during the holiday season.

First, each person in the group signs in and lists a bunch of items they want. Then they list the amount that they're willing to spend on the secret santa item they will be sending.

A computer randomly assigns each person a secret santa recipient. Then it randomly assigns (within the price range) a gift from that recipient's list. Then it ships the item off and charges each person in the group the appropriate amount. It would save all the time of finding out what the person wants, drawing the names out of a hat, and having to actually go shopping. No effort at all! It may not be the complete holiday spirit but it sure is in the American spirit!!

Updated 12/11/04: Another great feature of this service could be if you participate in numerous secret santa circles, such as family, office, it could coordinate to ensure that you don't ge the same gift twice! Once Amazon perfects their "you might like this too" technology, one could imagine a scenario where you list a few things and then the secret santa bot will be able to "think" of something else on its own for you.

Embarrassed Yankees Fan

The last time I wore my Yankees "World Series 2000 Champions" T-shirt was over two months ago. I've been too embarrassed to wear it since this past October.

What are the odds of finding a seeing eye dog in a bookstore?

The other day I saw a dog inside Barnes and Noble, and thought "I didn't know they allowed pets here."

Then I thought, "Must be a seeing eye dog."

Then I thought, "I'm such an idiot. Why would there be a seeing eye dog in a bookstore?"

Which makes me think that should be a saying, "That's as likely as finding a seeing eye dog in a bookstore."

I'm Too Soft

I read this article about businesses suffering because of the NHL lockout and I felt bad for some of the disparaging comments I made about hockey earlier. I'm just too soft.

Stop with the steroids!

Today, President Bush said that a stronger stance needs to be taken on steroids in baseball. For crying out loud, can these politicians stop with that already? Bush was a former baseball owner! He is just as guilty as the rest of the owners for turning a blind eye to the steroids issue and raking in the dollars. It's been baseball's dirty little secret.

Why I Love the FAN (continued)

Reason #6931

A WFAN caller told Mike and the Mad Dog that the Yankees would be able to get rid of Jason Giambi by trading him to the Mets.

Sports Controversy

Consider:

NFL comes under fire when star wide receiver does silly promo with nearly naked television star. NFL is bailed out when...

NBA stars, after having beer thrown on them by fans, incite a riot by entering the stands and fighting. NBA is bailed out when...

MLB superstar grand jury testimony is released by unknown person, revealing that game's best hitter is using steroids. MLB is bailed out when...

NHL or College Football? I believe it's your turn for a bail out.

Hey Senator! Don't you have better things to do?

Just one man's opinion.

Don't Underestimate Jerry Bruckheimer

A lesson I learned a few years ago when I said, "CSI looks like a stupid show."

Now this, National Treasure is the #1 movie for the third week in a row. But I'm not surprised because I never underestimate that man's projects.

Just When I Think it's Safe to Root for the Jets

Well, they keep winning... BIG BIG BIG game next week vs. Pittsburgh.

Here are some other things we've learned today in the NFL

-Indy can sure score
-If the Super Bowl champ is not from the AFC it will be a major upset
-Teams that are not that good but have playoff chances: Rams, Falcons, Vikings
-Teams that are quite good: New England
-The Jets may make it to the playoffs with 11 wins after all
-Worst divisions in football - NFC West, NFC South

Just When I Thought it was Safe to Root for the Knicks

They lose back-to-back games to the Magic and Bobcats. Here they are, back at .500. Well, at least the NBA season doesn't start until April.

Where are they now? [Special Dictators overthrown by a guy named Bush edition]

Today's episode, Panama's Manuel Noriega.

Double Standard?

Does all this info about steroids and Barry Bonds represent a double standard? For example, it appears the general consensus is that everything Bonds has accomplished is now worth nothing. But Mark McGwire admitted to using androstenedione, and although it is legal, it is now banned by Major League Baseball. Nobody questions his records. Just observing.

Google Instant Messenger

Looks like Microsoft's trying to join the Google/Yahoo battle by introducing a blogging service. What do you think the chances of a Google Instant Messenger rearing its head are?

Another funny thing, the Microsoft blogs can have their content censored. Do you think that means the Google IM program will have context based ads?

The Tick Cartoon Show

Do you remember the cartoon show, "The Tick"? That show was hilarious. Why isn't it on DVD yet?

If you don't remember it, here's a link.

Ever Notice That Some People Have Faces That Look Like Animals?

see title for discussion topic.

For example, some people might look like a woodchuck or a bear. I wish I had some photos to post that would better illustrate this.

Fashion Tip # 4059

Very few people can wear a blazer and blue jeans and make it look normal.

How Many Days After Thanksgiving Is It Okay To Ask How Someone's Thanksgiving Was?

As we returned from a long weekend, I began to wonder how long one has to ask his colleagues how their Thanksgiving was. I figure tomorrow (Wed) is about it. By Friday it's definitely too late to ask how someone's Thanksgiving was.

For some reason I think this might have been a bit on a television show. Like how soon after a normal weekend can you ask how a weekend was? It's perfectly natural to ask on Monday, and Tuesday can be fine, especially in the mornings. But by Wednesday, "How was your weekend?" is not a reasonable question. It's also too early for "What are you doing next weekend?" So what is a suitable Wednesday greeting? "How's your week so far?" I don't think so...

Can someone please let me know if I've totally ripped this bit off a tv show? It seems like a nice observation yet at the same time I have this total sense of deja vu.

Deja vu. The matrix just reset itself.

Two Words a Single Guy Hates to Hear

Today, I noticed that even if a woman (of similar age) that I have absolutely no romatic interest in says the words, "my boyfriend" it makes me wince. Hopefully it's just a psychological wincing and not an obvious physical flinch. I'm not sure why this happens. Some sort of carnal instinct?

Certainly in a bar, those two words are a big conversation killer for me. Oh, your boyfriend? Great... that's the last person I want to hear about. But this morning, I wasn't in a bar and it made me (figuratively) roll my eyes.

Do single women wince when they hear guys say "my girlfriend"? I suspect that single women might actually do the opposite -- raise their eyebrows and want even more information -- either for gossip or to figure out what kind of man they're really talking to.

Seinfeld/Superman ads

Does anyone have a link to those Seinfeld/Superman web-only tv ads? The link that used to work (http://www.americanexpress.com/jerry) no longer seems to function.

Greatest Hits Albums

To the popular music afficianado, there must not be any greater nemesis than the "Greatest Hits" album. "Hits" albums are great for marginal fans or people who have never been exposed to a band. They're like the appetizer sampler of music albums.

On the other hand, for uber-fans of any musical artist, they're an expenditure that's not worth making. If you've already got all the albums, why do you need a compilation of songs that you already have? The digital age of multiple playlists makes this worse since you can already make the new album track list out of existing songs.

What's worse is the making of a "Hits" album probably wasn't even the artist's choice in the first place. Most likely, it's standard practice to add a "Hits" album to a record contract since it's so easy to make and it's just like easy money.

Is it better if the "Hits" album has a few new tracks? I'm split on this one. If you're really a nutty fan, then it won't make a difference -- you'll want the album art and the whole piece to sit alongside your other music. But you could also be a serious enough fan to be upset that you need to buy an entire album to just get two or three songs. Then again, it's nice to get something new at all.

In some cases, these new songs are marginal -- check out Billy Joel's various Greatest Hits albums. "Night is Still Young" and "You're Only Human" are not some of his stronger works. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, however, had a teriffic song in "Mary Jane's Last Dance" on their "Hits" album.

Unfortunately, it appears that "Greatest Hits" albums are a reality in the music industry and it won't change anytime soon.

Spam text message?

I think I got a spam text message on my phone the other day. That's just what I need. I think it was spam, unless someone sent a really dirty message to the wrong person.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving from the folks (me) at KFB!

Cell Phone + Camera

When I first saw this knife I thought "That seems stupid!"

Then again, when I first saw a camera/cell phone, I thought it was stupid too.

Winners

Funny thing. I guess everybody loves a winner. Yay Bush!!

Ocean's 12

I enjoyed the movie Ocean's Eleven, but I have a feeling the upcoming Ocean's Twelve will not be a good one. Why? It's a sequel to a remake, and they're advertising it so heavily right now. When a movie's advertised this heavily in advance it always seems like it won't be a good one...

Jets Blog

Jets versus Browns

1:00pm - The Browns have lost three in a row and say "we deserve to win." But the Jets have lost three of four. Don't they also deserve to win?

1:08pm - Doug Brien misses a 43 yd FG. This reminds me of the game vs Buffalo they lost two weeks ago.

1:13pm - Jets defense forces a 3 & out. Maybe this isn't like the Buffalo game.

1:20pm - Jets tackle Suggs for a 4 yd loss, an incompete pass, then a near sack on Garcia. Not bad. Can the offense do anything?

1:25pm - Quincy Carter sacked again on third down. The punt results in a huge return. This game will be hard to watch if it's a defensive battle.

1:36pm - The Browns sack Carter again on a play action attempt at 3rd and 4. This isn't looking good.

1:41pm - There have been seven punts in the first quarter.

1:52pm - Cleveland scores a TD after moving through the Jets defense pretty handily. There was a questionable call of a late hit on the QB as well. Cleveland 7, Jets 0.

2:07pm - Neither team is playing well, but now Curtis Martin is on the sideline, limping around. Not good.

2:14pm - Garcia looks hurt and Cleveland missed a FG. Are things looking up?

At the half, it's Cleveland 7, Jets 3.

3:04pm - I took a phone call but haven't missed a thing. At this point, both teams haven't converted a single third down in the game. Kelly Holcomb is now in the game for the injured Jeff Garcia. The Jets recover a fumbled punt by the Browns but give it right back when Carter goes deep to a double covered Santana Moss and gets intercepted. Not a bad play call but the lack of 3rd down success is frustrating. This is an ugly, ugly football game.

3:19pm - With 8 seconds remaining in the third quarter, the first third down conversion of the game has been made.

3:27pm - The Browns miss a FG. Did anyone else notice that there have been 3 missed FG's in this game, and only 4 attempts?

3:36pm - My pizza arrives. A check on the internet tells me I've missed a Jets penalty and time out. I'm such a slave to marketing since I got the Domino's DoubleMelt Pizza. The Jets are stopped for a loss and it's 3rd and 10. THE JETS CONVERT THEIR FIRST THIRD DOWN OF THE DAY.

3:40pm - The Jets score a touchdown. I'm feeling less guilty about getting this pizza since the game is much better after its arrival. It's not too bad either. The Jets throw some nice little short passes to Moss and McCairens that give them the lead. Jets 10, Cleveland 7.

The Jets finally started muscling around the Browns defense. They actually scored more points against the Ravens, if you can believe it. I think the line was not playing with much energy earlier today.

And the Jets won the ballgame! What an ugly, ugly football game. Next week they get to go to Arizona, a team that should be a pushover but beat the Giants a few weeks back.

Pacers vs. Pistons

If you haven't seen anything about the Pacers/Pistons fight, then you undoubtedly will, but if you should put on ESPNEWS as soon as you can to try and watch the whole thing.

The ESPN.com page doesn't do this fight justice.

This fight had it all.

Player hits player. Fan throws beer at player. Player goes into stands. Players hit fans. Fans hit players. Fans come onto floor. Players hit fans on the floor. Fans throw more beer. Fans throw chairs! Larry Brown throws microphone.

Remarkable.

Oh, and the next time the Pacers play the Pistons? A little day called Christmas.

(I'm so thankful this happened so that people no longer talk about that dopey MNF intro)

Two and a half Big Macs

This Hardee's burger has the same amount of calories as two and a half Big Macs. We should drop a bunch of these into impoverished countries!

Despite knowing that it's got the calorie content of 2 1/2 Big Macs, I still want to eat one.

Nudity

An article like this makes me wonder if people are a little too sensitive about nudity. After all, if that bitch, Eve, had followed directions and not eaten the apple, we would all still be running around naked, frolicking in the Garden of Eden!

Colin Powell - Out?

According to the paper this morning, Colin Powell is out as Secretary of State.

Strangely enough I saw him in an interview yesterday on "The Wall Street Journal Report with Maria Bartiromo" where the following exchange took place. I guess I should have read the subtext more closely.

----

MS. BARTIROMO: The big question for a lot of people wondering, if you have a fire in your belly for another four years as Secretary of State?

SECRETARY POWELL: I've always had fire in my belly for whatever I did.

MS. BARTIROMO: Are you planning to announce imminently that you're stepping down, sir.

SECRETARY POWELL: Whenever something is to be announced, it will be announced, and it is a matter for the President and I to discuss and decide.

Jets loss

This Jets loss reminds me of a Jets/Patriots game I attended about three years ago. It was Sunday, December 2, 2001. The Jets went up 16-0 but New England, with backup QB Tom Brady leading the way (Brady came in after the Jets knocked Drew Bledsoe out for the season in the two teams' first meeting) won the game 17-16.

Here, the Jets went up 14-0, fell behind 17-14 and then eventually lost in OT 20-17.

Two notes:

1) Doesn't Herm Edwards have a time out/clock management specialist? What happened at the end of regulation?

2) I was feeling pretty bad about this loss until I saw that the Giants lost at Arizona. At least most of the headlines will be about the Giants! The Jets will have the opportunity to catch similar headlines in a few weeks when they go to AZ.

No Love.... But Still...

There is no love for the Miami Dolphins at the Kitchen Fresh Blog (and now the mere mention of the team will create a Google-bsaed ad on this very site). But still, this article by Skip Bayless on ESPN Page 2 is pretty harsh! The main point is that Dave Wannstedt is a born loser.

Shtick

This blog needs more shtick
I want to get some more hits
Would nudity help?

Why Should I Change?

No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Whoa. Ashcroft resigns?

Wow, looks like Attorney General John Ashcroft won't be back for a second Bush term.

I have two questions:

1) Was Ashcroft serious when he said, "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved, yet I believe that the Department of Justice would be well served by new leadership and fresh inspiration, I believe that my energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons."? In particular was he serious about having completed the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror?

2) Does this mean we'll get to see the boob of that statue of justice again?

An absoultely awful Jets game

Jets vs. Bills 11/7/04

The Bills are a pretty good team despite their 2-5 record entering the game. They barely lost to the Jets in NJ a few weeks ago. On the other hand, the Jets were riding high after their complete victory over the Dolphins last Monday.

There was no doubt that this would be a tough game but with the strong defensive line of the Jets and their diversity of offensive tools, it looked like they would be able to prevail.

In the first quarter, K Doug Brien missed a 36 yd field goal. The winds were heavy but he just missed this FG. At this point, I just had a sense the game would be tough for the Jets, but they had moved the ball very well by attacking with the passing game. Next drive, ends in a Pennington fumble, and it is returned deep into Jets territory. Now the sense is even greater that the Jets need to put things together.

As it turns out, the half ends 10-10, but the Jets dodge a bullet when at 3rd and Goal with about 30 seconds left, Buffalo elects to spike instead of try a pass attempt into the end zone. Earlier in the second quarter the Jets executed a great drive from their 20 yd line for a TD. Maybe things are looking up.

But in the third quarter, the collapse begins. The Jets defense looks groggy and Buffalo takes advantage, with a 67 yd drive that takes about seven minutes. It's a great drive and QB Drew Bledsoe makes a critical play on third and long, when he eludes DE Shawn Ellis, avoids a sack and gets a first down. Buffalo scores on a great catch by WR Lee Evans. It's a good, solid drive.

The Jets get the ball and run four out of five rushing plays. Overall, they had not been moving the ball well on the ground and much better in the air. Not sure why they rushed the ball so much. But after Buffalo's next drive is stopped, it's a 3 and out for the Jets as well - you guessed it - two run plays and one pass play (on 3rd and 1, no less).

On to the fourth quarter, and here's where the house of horrors begins. The Jets run twice for -1 yds and QB Chad Pennington throws an interception on 3rd and 11. At this point, in the second half, this was Pennington's third pass attempt, out of eleven plays. Could we have gotten a little more balance? In the first half, Pennington was very accurate. Maybe something more here?

The INT led to a FG from Buffalo who has opened their lead to ten points (20-10). On their next drives, both teams punt and the Jets have the ball back at their 1/2 yard line, following a great punt by P Brian Moorman. First off, QB Quincy Carter shows up (it turns out Pennington had a shoulder injury) and the Jets try to run the ball up the middle out of the end zone with RB Curtis Martin and get totally stuffed for a safety (22-10, Buffalo).

The game now continues and after stopping the Bills, Quincy Carter throws a great pass to WR Santana Moss for a TD (22-17). The Jets are back in it with four minutes to go. But the defense can't make a stop on a critical 3rd and 8 and the game ends.

The Jets played a sloppy game (7 penalties for 40 yards, 2 turnovers) and also made some key mistakes.

But here's the sad thing. This game probably caps their season with a wildcard playoff berth and a first or second round playoff loss. Even if the Jets can keep pace (and that's unlikely) New England would still win the division unless they lost @ NY Jets on 12/26 AND lost to either Buffalo next week or @ Miami 12/20. Not likely. The fight for a wildcard won't be easy either.

I can live with the Pennington injury (that sort of thing happens), I can deal with the defensive lapses (sort of), and I can even deal with the missed 36 yard field goal. But when you add in the straight-up-the-middle rush from the half yard line in the context of not being able to rush the ball all day, then I get upset. Four pass attempts by Pennington in the second half out of fourteen plays is not acceptable. When this team can't run, they shouldn't be afraid to go to the pass. If Pennington, Moss and McCairens aren't good enough to help run the offense then the team needs to rework the entire unit.

Pennington's injury had better not be an excuse for the low number of pass attempts. If he can't pass then he shouldn't play, and if he got injured in the first quarter, then why was he able to pass so well in the second?

On a side note, despite hating the Patriots, it was pretty cool to see Vinitieri's great fake FG pass to Troy Brown. I wish I could have seen the look on Mike Martz's face.

Voting

This should be the last voting related post for a while.

All this talk of a "mandate" for Bush is making me ill. It's the media trying to put words in his mouth. At the same time, I don't think Bush acknowledges that there is a significant divide within the population (in some ways, he probably can't since it makes him look weaker). So perhaps, one of the media outlets could take a look at voters and see how supporters of Gore and Bush in 2000 decided to vote in 2004. Did they stay party loyal or did they switch sides? Was it at any greater rate than in past elections? My hypothesis would be that larger numbers switched sides from Bush to Kerry (purely on anecdotal evidence), and it was larger than usual. That might be the best measure of how Bush's first term was perceived by the electorate.

Hockey

Did anyone notice that hockey hasn't started yet?

***Hockey players/owners, their friends and families, and ESPN 3 executives are not eligible to answer this question***

Episode 3

I watched the Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith trailer. I got giddy. Then I popped in my Episode 2 DVD and watched the trailers to it.

Here's one good thing and one bad thing.

One good thing: The Episode 3 trailer has very little talking. Hopefully that means that the movie has very little talking. Episode 2 was best when talking was at a minimum.

One bad thing: Seems like in the grand tradition of bringing characters from the original trilogy and trying to flesh them out for merchandising's sake, it's going to happen again.

Overall: The trailer looks pretty and doesn't have any of the horrible dialogue from Episode 2. But I enjoyed the trailers for Episodes 1 & 2 far more than I enjoyed the movies.

There's a Fat Albert movie?

On Christmas Day, Fat Albert is opening up. Sounds like it was inevitable given all the cartoons that have recently become live-action but was it necessary (as shown in the trailer) for it to be about the tv cartoon character magically appearing out of the tv set and travelling into the 00's?

Yao Ming

In my view, the NBA season does not begin until April. However, in his first three games this season, Yao Ming hasn't been as good as I had expected. Sure, it's only three games and I haven't watched any of them, but it seems like he has been getting into early foul trouble and unable to play. The Rockets are "Knicks South" in my view, with Charlie Ward, Jeff Van Gundy and Patrick Ewing.

Apprentice 2

This second installment of the Apprentice is not as good as the first. The contestants are mostly unlikeable and none of them really have the sorts of relationships (friendships or in-fighting) of the first cast. They tried to create some of the goofiness, particularly with Raj, Stacie J and Andy. But in the end, the Kwame/Troy friendship, the Amy/Nick sort of romance, and the Omarosa/Heidi conflict aren't around this time. The teams gang up on the weak link pretty quickly and none of the contestants seem to get along. The episodes have a lot of filler material as well. The show is not as strong. Someone has to get fired!

Episode 2

This week, not only will The Incredibles be released, but so will the Star Wars: Episode 3 trailer. This of course, is the final movie of the Star Wars series.

After watching the DVDs of the original trilogy, I pulled out my Episode 2 DVD to view some of the fight scenes. I can't explain it but there's something amiss with entire this film. While the digital scenery and characters are pretty amazing, when the actors are on the screen, it still looks like an advanced version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The problems seem to do with lighting inconsistancies or camera focusing differences between "real" and digital, but I'm not totally sure. Something about the movie just doesn't look right.

Something I Noticed...

So, according to all these polls, Kerry voters were more likely to be concerned about the economy and jobs, and Bush voters were more likely to be concerned about security and terrorism. Then why, oh why, did Bush lose all the states where terrorism were actually is a threat (such as New York, Massachusetts, California)? And why, where jobs and the economy are such a big issue, like the manufacturing states or farm states did John Kerry lose?

Why do I think the rest of the world is laughing right now?

Election

Looks like we're headed for four more years of Bush. This liberal weenie is going to cry himself to sleep tonight.

Just Lick It

I saw a woman on the subway today lick a CD to clean it off before putting into her CD player. How does that help the CD or CD player? Isn't it a little dirty?

MIT vs Casinos

Bringing Down the House
Is easy and fun reading
It could be a film

Wild Card

Has anyone noticed that the last three World Series champions were Wild Card winners?

Also, since 1996, the winner of the World Series has either been the Yankees or a Wild Card team, aside from Arizona in '01.

Strangely enough, when the Yankees were the Wild Card ('95 & '97) they got knocked out.

This year, the "Wild Card" beat the "Cards."

Incoherent

I'm not very coherent right now, but I was thinking, since Boston seems to be winning everything these days, let's hope that this is an omen that next week we'll be talking about President Kerry.

Now that baseball's over and the election will soon draw to a close, what will I ever talk about on this blog? Time for me to get out there and do a few stupid things so I can report them on to this hardly-read forum.

Eggs

Fifteen minutes after I proclaimed that I have writer's block, I just thought of something to post.

Since St Louis really laid an egg in the World Series, this link seemed appropriate.

Make sure you click on "egg song" and turn the volume up really high. Hilarious. Kitchen-Fresh-Blog-certified amusement.

No Editor

Problem: I have nothing to say but I want to write a post.

Result: A crappy post like this. That's what happens with these solo operations -- no editor, no filter, no focus group, crappy posts.

Enjoy!!

The Factor

Since I didn't want to watch Boston pound on St. Louis again, I decided to try and watch the O'Reilly Factor for a little while this evening.

I decided I would time myself and see how long it would take for me to get annoyed and change the channel. It took longer than I had expected -- eight minutes! Why so long? Well, there were four minutes of commercials and news updates.

The first segment I saw was around the 8:30 block, where O'Reilly had on an advertising executive who had been involved in some surveys of public opinion and what Hollywood stars could sway political views.

The second segment I saw, also the one I changed the channel during, was one where O'Reilly had Bob Woodward of the Washington Post as a guest. O'Reilly asked Woodward questions and wanted to know how Kerry would answer them (since Kerry declined interviews with both O'Reilly and Woodward). Then, O'Reilly criticised the fictional responses. Part of me found it hilarious but just because it was so absurd.

So I flipped to ESPNEWS. Their scores ticker is amusing on a night when there is only one professional sporting event.

Ms. Subways

I'm obviously not getting the point of this. Aren't the subways dirty, nasty and smelly? Why would anyone want to be associated with this, particularly in a format that implies "beauty pageant?"

Sponsorships and Free Tacos

It is my civic duty to report that if a home run in the World Series hits the right sign, then every US citizen is entitled to a free taco at Taco Bell on November 9.

The article states that Taco Bell will be the "official quick service restaurant" of Major League Baseball in 2005. That got me to thinking -- if anyone wants to sponsor this blog then I'll gladly make them the official "XYZ of the Kitchen." Rates for such sponsorships are quite low, indicating how easily I'll sell out.

Oh, and when did "quick service" become a euphemism for "fast food?" Is "fast food" such a bad term that it requires a euphemism?

The Onion

If you don't read the Onion then you're missing out. This morning, it dawned on me that this would be a great television concept. It would take "fake news" beyond the Daily Show since there would be almost no basis in reality. There could be great stories about "Area Men" and a segment of "This Day in History." The AV club could be used as an interviewing platform for actual celebrities. Seems like a winner idea to me, and you heard it here first!!