I'm the Only One Laughing

Something about the President's face in this AP Photo, seen on CNN.com (headline: Bush Reports Progress in Social Security Debate) is funny to me. I suspect it is not funny to anyone else.

Google X

Google Labs did a homage to the Macintosh OS X with their Google X design that features a bar similar to Mac OS X's dock bar.

Of course, I have a feeling most people wished they had spent their time working on "Google XXX" - the adult services search.

23-24-25

I just noticed that the return of Tino Martinez to the Yankees means they enter this year with their last three regular first basemen on the team. The three players being Jason Giambi, Tino Martinez and hitting coach Don Mattingly. Their uniform numbers also happen to fall in sequence.

Twin Study

Jose Canseco recently admitted to using steroids, but not much has been said about his twin brother, Ozzie. Since they are twins, and Ozzie has presumably not used steroids, they might be a nice little example of a twin study for steroid use. After all, if they have the same genetic make up and Ozzie is bad at baseball and Jose was pretty good, we can attribute the differences in performance to environmental and other factors. This will allow us to best understand whether or not steroids can help you hit the ball.

I'm hoping to make this my last steroids-related post for a while. I'm amused by all the google context based ads that think this is a steroids blog.

Marv Albert

I predicted it, Marv Albert is going to the YES network to do Nets games. Let's get those Marv "You're watching YES!" promos going!

Gross. Gross. Gross.

I just completed half my sandwich before realizing that I hadn't washed my hands after holding the bar while riding the subway.

Another Post about Steroids

In regards to his subpeona to testify in front of Congress about steroids, Curt Schilling says , "I'm still real confused as to why I was put in this group and why there are others players that aren't in this group."

Does he have short term memory? Curt Schilling likes to talk a lot, and he in fact told Sports Illustrated (as a part of the Ken Caminiti story), "I'll pat guys on the a--, and they'll look at me and go, 'Don't hit me there, man. It hurts.' That's because that's where they shoot the steroid needles."

The Gates - Third in a Series

The Gates is old news
I still have many photos
This was the best one

Part 1


Part 2

Why Not Bonds?

Ray Ratto on ESPN.com asks why Congress didn't subpoena Barry Bonds in their steroid investigation. He suggests that the reason Bonds was not included in the group (comprised of Canseco, McGwire, Sosa, Schilling, Giambi) is that Bonds wouldn't offer much. That doesn't seem to be a good reason not to ask! Also, why wasn't Sheffield asked to the hearing as well?

Locker Room Dynamics

The NY Times had an interesting graphic where they show the locations of players' lockers in the Yankees locker room. I like to see things like this, as it offers a chance to see the everyday happenings in a normally restricted-access place.

See Buster Olney's book, The Last Night of the Yankee Dyansty if you are like me and enjoy little anecdotes like this.

The Gates - Second in a Series

This was taken from the north side of the Great Lawn. To give you a better sense of my day, I was listening to The Ultimate Who, and I had a "dirty water dog" about halfway through the afternoon.

No Matter How Hard You Try, You Can't Stop Us Now

This morning I was very tired, but when I put Rage Against the Machine on my iPod during my workout it sure woke me up! A friend told me that I listen to a lot of angry music. To that friend, here are my top songs played on iTunes, all-time:

1 - Fortune Faded - Red Hot Chili Peppers
2 - The Reason - Hoobastank
3 - Someday - Nickelback
4 (tie) - Clocks - Coldplay
4 (tie) - Hey Ya! - Outkast
6 (tie) - Sad - Pearl Jam
6 (tie) - Africa - Toto
8 - In the End - Linkin Park
9 (tie) - Black - Pearl Jam
9 (tie) - Jeremy - Pearl Jam
9 (tie) - Yeah! - Usher

Back In The Browser Business

Look who's back in the browser game!

It's the new Netscape 8.0 browser. It's based on Firefox and functions pretty similarly. This post is being composed with Netscape.

It hasn't supplanted Firefox as my primary browser. Here are some good and bad features of the new browser.

Good:
The multibar. Shown here, it contains weather updates, rss headline feeds, and is essentially 5 toolbars in one space. There actually may not be enough useful features to fill in five different toolbars.

It uses Firefox to render, but can also show pages in IE. Just right click and say, "view as if IE."

Sidebar is back with a little more force. The Firefox sidebar is much more vanilla.

Automatically includes "Tab preferences" which is an extension in Firefox.

"Clear My Tracks" button, allows you to clear any of the various privacy-type sections (cookies, history, location bar, cache, all of them) from the main window, and also allows clearing of these folders upon browser exit.

Neutral:
The new look. It looks sleek but it's actually sort of hard to use because I'm so used to finding things in different places. After a little while I can get used to it, but still disorienting right now.

Bad:
Still a little buggy. For example, I tried to set up the RSS feed for the KFB and it does not work.

It does not accept a number of Firefox extensions, including one of my personal favorites, Adblock.

It is based on Firefox 1.0 which recently was revealed to have a security flaw!

Windows PC Only.

Summary:
This is not a bad browser, and certainly better than the original "Mozilla" browser, the basis of Netscape 7. Minimalists will still prefer Firefox, but Netscape has a few bells and whistles and a little bling Firefox does not. Security freaks ought to stick with Firefox, since the updates are a bit more regular. I wonder if Netscape has the sort of brand recognition anymore that could make this product a true competitor again.

Phantom Cell Phone Vibe

Do you get the phantom cell phone vibe? Every so often, when my phone is in vibe mode, I think it is ringing, but upon inspection, it is not. Yet I swear I felt the vibrations. Maybe I'm just hoping someone will call...

MSNBC - MS = ?

Microsoft might pull out of its MSNBC partnership with NBC. This doesn't seem like a surprising move. I'm not sure about you, fair reader, but I had completely forgotten that Microsoft even had a stake in MSNBC. I wonder if the network will change names.

The Gates - First in a Series

The Gates was this big public art project in Central Park. It was estimated to cost $21 million, and was completely privately funded by its creators, Christo and Jeanne-Claude.

Side note, an extention of my theory of never trusting anyone with two first names is to never trust anyone with just one name.

Anyways, I'll let you be the judge of whether it was successful or not. The New York Times ran an article about it almost every day, it seemed. Many people went to Central Park to see it, locals and tourists alike. There hasn't been a public art exhibition of its size in Central Park before (and one might wonder if ever again in the near future). But seriously, it's just a bunch of doorways.

If anything, it was worth it for me to visit the Park and snap a few shots which will be shared here. I went on 2/27/05, a nice winter day, and the last day of The Gates. Either something like this won't be done for a while in NYC because people are afraid of seeming like they're imitating this piece, or there will be some annual event like this to milk this sort of publicity. Who knows what will happen. Please enjoy my photos.

Joe, Please Stop It

Joe Torre suggests that since "The Curse" is over, there isn't anything to the Red Sox - Yankees rivalry. Mr. Torre, with all due respect, may I please point out that they beat you last year, preventing you from advancing to the World Series, and the year before, you did the same to them. In most sports, that's enough to start a rivalry. This rivalry may have been different since it was "started" when one of the best players was sold from one team to the other, but I suspect recent events bring out even more emotion.

I know Torre is trying to take pressure off his team by trying to make the Sox - Yankees games seem less important, but give us a break! With the steroids suspicions preventing any celebration of Bonds' assault on Aaron's record, Red Sox vs Yankees is all Major League Baseball has got going for it. The emphasis on these games will be bigger than ever.

Game Show Network

For some strange reason, whenever I can't find something to watch on TV (particularly during the daytimes or late nights), I find myself tuning into the the Game Show Network, with reruns of such hits as Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, Celebrity Jeopardy, Press Your Luck, Extreme Dodgeball, The Newlywed Game and Love Connection.

I can't explain why watching people get hit by red rubber balls, or report on bad dates in the 80's is my preferred form of entertainment, but it's strangely addicting.

I hope it's just a phase.

Numbers Game

David Wells is wearing #3 for his new team because he is a big fan of Babe Ruth. But Babe Ruth never wore #3 for Boston. When Babe Ruth was in Boston, players didn't wear numbers. The numbers started being used with the Yankees in 1929. That was when Ruth wore #3. Thought some might find this either interesting or amusing.

Two First Names

I have a saying, "I don't trust anyone with two first names." I don't know if it's true.

It has come to my attention that Villanova has a basketball player named Allan Ray, and I believe this means he should be automatically promoted to the NBA and also automatically on the same team as Ray Allen, no matter what the team or salary cap situation is. This would, of course, lead to teriffic humorous scenarios where announcers would continually confuse both players.

Jobs With Low Success Rates

The weatherman must be the guy with the easiest job in the world. Talk about a person who can be wrong all the time and still keep his job, because after all, "it's the weather!"

When was the last time a weatherperson was fired for being inaccurate? Usually they get deposed because they are too old or not good-looking enough. Could you imagine if your doctor was as inaccurate as the weather man? He'd be the mayor of Malpractice City! What about if a policeman had the accuracy of a weather man? There'd be tons of improper arrests and accidental killings.

The other job with low success rates is Major League Baseball hitter. Here, a 30% success rate is somewhere between above average and superstar. Next time you need to perform a task for work or school, try it at 30% accuracy. If they ask why you did so poorly, say, "It's good enough for MLB!" See how far that gets you.

This made me laugh...

and laugh... and laugh...

Except he wasn't successful. I saved this post for today because of the "haiku Friday" rule and it didn't seem to work out. They've decided to name it the "Jimmy Fund Center" instead.

Pitchers on 'Roids?

No pitchers on 'roids?
I find that hard to believe
No one seems to care

FYI - blogs

CNET News.com reports that spyware and malicious code infiltrates blogs. Surprise, you're most at risk if you're using Internet Explorer.

Surly

I like how the headline of this article is that Bonds "raged against the media". Given his predicament, "rage" is an interesting choice of language. I wonder if his general surliness is related to 'roid rage.

It sounded a bit like he doesn't see why using steroids was a bad thing, but while not directly admitting he used steroids, he didn't deny it either.

Bernie Said It...

...but I was thinking it:

"You have one of the greatest Yankees ever to wear the uniform in Cap," Williams said, referring by nickname to the former Yankee captain Don Mattingly. "Who would argue that he is a true Yankee? And still, he never won a World Series."

Counter-Move?

I guess Britain just wants to make doubly sure we wouldn't be able to use this weapon on them.

Simpsons from 2/20/05

Last night's episode of The Simpsons featured gay marriage as an issue, and a link was posted to www.springfieldisforgayloversofmarriage.com, and lo and behold, it works!

I was going to post a screen cap but I'm too homophobic.

Horrible Metaphor

"This thing is going down to the wire," said Assemblyman Keith L. Wright, a Democrat, possibly the only one of nine candidates for Manhattan borough president who supports the stadium. "This is going to be a two-minute drill. Either you score a touchdown, or you miss a field goal at the end."
---

A touchdown and a missed field goal aren't opposites. It would have been simpler if he just said, "This is going to be a two-minute drill. Either you score or you don't."

Also, nobody's going to get Jet fan support for a new stadium if they talk about missed field goals during this off season.

Inside Their Heads

New game. I'll put what the person must be thinking, then you click on the link to find out who the person is.

"I can't wait until Jason Giambi gets here." (related story)

"Maybe if the NHL season starts, people will pay less attention to me." (related story)

"Yay! Even though I'm retired, ESPN.com still has a player profile page for me. Can I charge them for that?"
(related story)

"I need to google 'Paris Hilton address book' immediately." (related story)

Checking out CNN.com

Two items from CNN.com today, as I putz around.

1) A contestant on NBC's Contender committed suicide. They've been filming for six months, so let's hope that his outcome on the show didn't affect this suicide! That would be quite sad. The show itself has been heavily advertised recently, and despite numerous schedule changes (which typically are a bad sign), the commercials look pretty good. Seems like they are going to go with very personalized stories for each of the contestants, and follow families and friends as they watch the contestants. If I were to watch this show, I would hope that it doesn't have games and races (like other reality TV), but instead had a bunch of boxing matches after in-depth profiles on the boxers.

2) On another note, I think that CNN.com must have an "absurdity" filter, where its news wire feeds labels stories as "absurd" or "meaningless," and then posts one of them in the top headlines under "More News." Today's entry is about how Madame Tussaud's had to break up the wax Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Are these stories written by junior reporters trying to make a name for themselves or by senior reporters who now just want to sit back and rest on their laurels?

Arrested Development

From the Arrested Development website...

==============
Dear Arrested Development Fans:

Thank you for your e-mail and your passionate support of Arrested Development. While the show has finished production for its second season, contrary to the rumors you may have heard or read on the internet, it is NOT cancelled.

We at FOX love Arrested Development and we look forward to having the Bluth family back on FOX in the future – hopefully for many years. You can help make the show a bigger success by getting as many people as possible to start watching the show this Sunday and every Sunday at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT.

Sincerely,
Fox Broadcasting Company
==============

Isn't this only effective if I know a Nielsen family? I don't know any Nielsen families.

He Must Have Been Joking When He Said It...

From the article:

Giants manager Felipe Alou said the steroid suspicion won't be a distraction this spring.

Still Hard to Root For

I may have mentioned this before, but this year's Yankees are harder for me to root for than usual. They're going to really test the "root for the uniform" theory. Let's take a look (asterisks indicate new '05 acquisition):

Pitchers
Randy Johnson* - beat the Yankees in 2001 World Series
Carl Pavano* - beat the Yankees in 2003 World Series
Jaret Wright* - not very popular with other teams while with Indians
Kevin Brown - surly and punched a wall with his hand, also not very good against the Red Sox in '04

Mike Mussina is the ace of the staff. Didn't he just get here?

Fortunately, there's still Mariano Rivera.

Position Players
Jorge Posada, Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Tino Martinez* - not hard to root for
Hideki Matsui - not hard to root for, especially since an interpreter can filter any inflammatory remark he'll make
Tony Womack* - not hard to root for, but not particularly good, and has the chance of being awful
Alex Rodriguez - still doesn't feel quite right
Jason Giambi - I still like the guy but it's hard to root for a cheater
Gary Sheffield - see "Jason Giambi"

To sum up:
I find four of the new acquisitions hard to root for (out of five) and three of the nine starting players who remain have made themselves harder to root for.

I used to think that if this year's team became a disaster that I might still be entertained by all the antics. I don't think that's true because I could care less about the Knicks right now, and the wheels came off that wagon long ago.

The Gates

I can't say the Gates in Central Park were the coolest thing I've ever seen, but this parody was pretty good.

NY Times write-up

Free iTunes

Since I have nothing to report, might as well mention a quick way for free iTunes.

One Week and No Updates

Sorry. Just not much interesting to report. No haiku to write. No stupid stories to tell. Nothing really happening.

Oh, pitchers and catchers reported.

One Man Who Wishes The NHL Lockout Was Resolved

Who knows if it would have taken the spotlight off him, but at least a few families here and there would be talking about how bad the Rangers are instead of his "non apology."

Caffiene

I drank way too much caffiene and now I can't sleep. This is not a haiku despite the fact that it is Friday because I am tired.

Duck Boats

I guess when you're the Champs you can do whatever you want, but when I think "tough, hard-hitting football team," I don't usually think "duck boats."

New Format?

I've been thinking about sprucing up the blog page a little bit, maybe with a new format?

On the other hand, content seems to be the key thing in these blogs and frankly there's not enough exciting going on right now for me to be posting good stories right and left, so you may be left with my keen observations on things such as long receipts, sports and the media.

Super Bowl Observation #4

My fourth and final observation.

This Super Bowl is reminding me a lot of last year's. Both teams couldn't score in the first quarter, and now they're moving the ball fairly easily on each other. Unfortunately for me, I also know how last year's Super Bowl ended.

Super Bowl Observation #3

When Eugene Wilson walked off the field with an undisclosed just before halftime, Cris Collinsworth said, "I don't like to speculate on injuries but when a guy walks off the field it's probably not something like a shoulder or elbow."

7-7 at the half but New England really carved up Philly on their scoring drive.

Super Bowl Observation #2

When the Packers beat the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI, Andy Reid was on the Packers offensive staff and Bill Bellichek on the Patriots defensive staff.

This probably doesn't mean anything, but somehow it makes me change my mind to the position that Philadelphia has a nonzero chance of winning.

Super Bowl Observation #1

Philly won the toss. That's the only thing they're winning tonight, I suspect.

A Few Words About Receipts

I just got a receipt from the grocery store for a half gallon of orange juice that I purchased with cash. It was eight inches long. Another receipt from the other day, with two items purchased with cash at the grocery store, nine inches long. Is there a reason I need such a huge receipt? Especially for the grocery store. Don't even get me started on Best Buy/Circuit City/CompUSA where purchasing a single electronics item (like a DVD) nets you a twelve inch receipt that includes the entire store policy on it. Can I just get a little receipt? These big ones are a waste and just impractical.

Best D*** Sports Show Period

I thought it was a joke when I heard that FOX was changing the name of "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" to the "The Best Darn Super Bowl Road Show Period" for today's big game.

Nope, not a joke.

Firefox Extensions

I've been experimenting a little bit with Mozilla Firefox Extensions and happened upon this Adblock extension. It's pretty interesting because it blocks flash ads and images from external servers. You can customize it quite a bit.

The only reason I'm writing this post is that I also found a "Blog This!" extension and am trying it out.

Krugman vs. O'Reilly

A recent "Great Moments in Punditry as Read by Children" on the Daily Show reminded me of this great exchange on the Tim Russert Show last summer. I saw this one on air and it was a hoot!!

Click on the link and read the whole thing. It's a RIOT.

KRUGMAN: ...you take a look at anything I've written about economics, and I'm not a socialist. You know, that's a slander.

O'REILLY: I said quasi.

KRUGMAN: Well, that's a wonderful--then you're a quasi-murderer. I mean, why--what...

O'REILLY: I'm a quasi-murderer?

KRUGMAN: Well, quasi is a pretty open thing.

O'REILLY: That's ridiculous. All right.

KRUGMAN: Right. I'm nowhere close to that.

Can He Even Afford A Suit??

I thought MJ was bankrupt...

From the New York Times:

"As his trial began last week, Michael Jackson did not play the part of the criminal defendant ordered by his lawyers to buy a respectable suit and tie."

MSG Bids on Jets Stadium Land

An interesting move by the MSG people - they are bidding twice as much as the Jets are offering for the rail yard that the Jets would like to build their stadium on.

Is this a bluff? What happens if the MTA gives it to them? Will they be able to actually build anything on it? Would the City even try to help them out? This has major humor potential, and whenever a joke can be made, I'm all for it being made.

Alberto Gonzalez - Confirmed!

I don't know much about Alberto Gonzalez, but I have to be a little concerned when I read this in the New York Times (yes, I know it has a bias).

"Giving Alberto Gonzales the nation's top legal post is a terrible signal to send the rest of the world, and to American citizens concerned with human rights."

I'm an American citizen concerned with human rights. This doesn't sound so good.

Anniversary Haiku

One year old iPod
Already, it's out of date
But it still works fine

MoMA

I still haven't made it over to the new MoMA, but I saw an ad for it on the subway. The ad featured a photo of a very plain looking helicoptor that I guess they've got over there.

Now, is a helicoptor art? I don't really think so. When someone designed the helicoptor, this person was trying to make a helicoptor, not an artistic helicoptor. Perhaps certain helicoptors, if they were painted in a strange way or had funky aerodynamics could be considered art, but if they were mass-produced, that has to be another strike against them.

We could consider that many of these art museums contain anthropoligical items that are on this border of art/not art. For example, the Met has armor and musical instruments. These are just as much anthropology/archeology type items. Does this mean that the American Museum of Natural History is an art museum? I'm sure they have jewelry or pottery from various cultures. If we accept this helicoptor as an art piece, then won't we have to accept the National Museum of Air and Space as an art museum as well?

I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end. But these are the sorts of stupid things I wonder from time to time.

Star Trek

Much like the real-life space program, sounds like the fictional one is grounded too.

I believe (and this may be semantics) that the statement at the beginning of this article is untrue:

"For the first in 18 years, prime-time U.S. network television will be without a starship crew to 'boldly go where no man has gone before.' "

Semantics: Both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine were not prime-time network television shows, rather they were syndicated shows. This means they could be aired on any station at any time.

Example: "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a prime-time network show when it airs Mondays at 9pm (EST) on local CBS affiliates only. "Andromeda" is a syndicated program that airs on channels that may be completely unrelated throughout the nation.

De-Gifting

Daunte Culpepper, meet Tim Whatley.

This story made me completely change my mind about Super Bowl media days. If funny stuff like this could be guaranteed to happen, then I'd say, take four weeks off before the Super Bowl!

Inhaled Ethanol

Thanks to my friend for sending this link to AWOL - the alcohol without liquid website. That's right, why drink to get drunk when you can inhale to get drunk?

At first, I didn't know what to think of this idea. But do you really want to put down $300 for a machine to allow you to inhale alcohol? That's $300 without even getting any alcohol.

Secondly, do you want to get your $300 alcohol inhalation machine from a company that thinks "without" is two words?

Special Ops Cody

Captured in action.
Is this really true?

State of the Union

Wow. I totally didn't realize the State of the Union was tonight.

I was going to suggest a "State of the Union drinking game" but if you search for that on Google (or any other search engine of your preference) you'll find plenty of them.

So the state of the union always seems to be "strong". Will a President ever decide otherwise? I looked this up in the C-SPAN archives. As far as I can tell, this is a trend that Bill Clinton started in 1996 to say that the state of the union is strong.

Anyone care to present evidence to the contrary? I looked at the Clinton speeches, and then a random sample of some of those before.

While I Try to Get Psyched for MLB

Interleague Play. Teams play their "natural rivals" for two series, where they play only one series against other interleague opponents.

In the case of the Cubs, their natural rival is the White Sox. The Mets have the Yankees. Some are more of a stretch, like the Red Sox and Braves, who once used to play in the same city.

Then there's the case of the Blue Jays and Expos -- the only two Canadian teams. They were natural rivals, except now, the Expos are in Washington DC. One would think then that the DC rival would become Orioles (whose previous natural rival was the Phillies). But instead, it's DC versus the Blue Jays.

Pretty silly, especially since there's already an existing tension from Orioles owner Peter Angelos, who is unhappy about the Expos-to-DC move. Sure, it's a little confusing for the schedulers to change, but it wouldn't be that hard.

This does set up a nice USA vs Canada rivalry (after all, nobody likes the Canucks) between the capital city of the USA, versus the only city in Canada that US citizens can identify (with Montreal a possible close second, and Vancouver a distant third).

Too bad Oakland is in the same league as Toronto. Otherwise the natural rivalry could be Blue Jays and the Oakland Eh's.

Two Stories About Change (The Coins, Not the Action)

Story 1

I left this morning with $1.08 in change in my pocket. The total was comprised of the most useless coin combination possible - eight pennies and one sacagawea dollar.

Story 2

One time (have I told this one before?), somebody asked me for some change with the following line. I don't know if it was a request or a threat.

"I just got out of prison. Can you give me some change?"

Back to the Future 2 is Making My Head Hurt

(This post contains spoilers to the 1989 movie)

I'm watching Back to the Future Part 2 for the first time in a long time. When Marty changes the "future" for his kid by preventing him from going to jail, "tomorrow's" newspaper changes headlines.

So when future Biff takes this sports almanac back in time to his young self and tells him to start betting on sports events, and the time line changes, shouldn't then the future change around Marty and Doc while they're in 2015? Like shouldn't future George McFly disappear or something since now he's dead?

Also, doesn't future Biff stop existing when he gives young Biff the almanac? But if future Biff doesn't exist he can't give young Biff the almanac. So then it can't happen? Ugh.

Still a fun film, but I have to think less.

Friday is for Haiku

Friday haiku posts
Seemed like a good idea
Turns out I was wrong

AFC Championship Game

I watched the first three plays of this game and the outcome was obvious. Then I watched fourteen more plays and it was REALLY obvious. I hope Philly comes prepared to the Super Bowl, but it's going to be a stinker.

Mediawatch - January 23 Edition

What a great story... Ex-President Bush is sad that Carlos Beltran left the Astros. Is that surprise? Who even cares?

Today's New York Times had a feature about how the linebacker play will help determine the result of the Pats/Steelers game. Strange, I thought Len Pasquarelli wrote an article on the same topic five days ago!!

Suddenly, My Sports World is Very Small

Wow.

The Jets get knocked out of the playoffs and all I care about is the draft in April and what will happen next season with a new offensive coordinator. I'm mildly excited about baseball, but not yet really, since my favorite team, the Yankees, is considered to be a lock for the playoffs. That means the next meaningful game they'll play is nine months from now. At the same time, team members include the newly added Tony Womack (can't get too excited about that), Randy Johnson (amazing but surly) and hard to root for holdovers from last year, such as steroid users Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi, as well as Kevin "Right Hook" Brown. This is certainly testing my "root for the uniform" abilities.

Meanwhile, I can't stand the Red Sox, so we'll have to listen to the tired national themes of "They Finally Beat the Curse" and "Can the Cubs be Next?" Barry Bonds will probably go into a steroid induced frenzy after breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. In the New York area, we'll have tons of Mets fans overreacting to every single thing that happens with the team.

Will I participate in fantasy baseball? I have done so in the past few years, and this may be the only thing that could keep my interest in the season alive, however I don't really like the idea of having to follow the scores so tediously every day any more. Perhaps that will change when pitchers and catchers report.

In other sports, the NBA won't get exciting until their playoffs start. After all, half the teams make the playoffs, so not much is in doubt with that scene. Only the marginal teams, fighting for the 7-8 seeds might have anything worth watching in the regular season, but if they're marginal they're probably not too good.

Then there's the NHL, also only exciting in the playoffs. Of course, the next playoffs may be next year.

My sports world has shrunken. The Patriots will probably win their third Super Bowl in four years, meaning I have to listen to pronouncements of their being a dynasty in this "modern, salary cap era" where maintaining greatness is so much more difficult, and any team can win (I suspect if one looks at actual data, both these notions are not true) and we'll probably even get some "genius" writing articles full of popular culture references that link the two Super Bowl championships with the World Series win (I suspect his name will be Bill Simmons).

The cherry on this sports apathy sundae is the apathy I've been feeling towards politics lately. It seems in the current events arena, I've been following a number of losing causes recently. Then again, maybe it's just the winter.

Amusing Title to a News Article

Poll: Nation split on Bush as uniter or divider

Yet Another QB Comparison

Here's two more QB's for comparison.

Player	YDS	RTG	TD	INT	COMP %	YPA
QB 1:	238	69.3	0	1	64.3 (27/42)	5.67
QB 2:	182	65.5	0	1	63.6 (21/33)	5.52

You'll find it amazing when QB 1 identified as Peyton Manning yesterday and QB 2 is Chad Pennington on Saturday. The Patriots basically turned Manning into Pennington. Check out their longest completions - Manning's was only for 18 yds where Pennington's was 30 yds.

You May Have Overlooked...

Since today is Martin Luther King Jr Day, I thought it might be appropriate to acknowledge some of the other famous people born on January 17. Of course, Martin Luther King Jr was born on January 15, but since that was a Saturday it's better that we celebrate on a work day so we don't have to do anything.

Here are some famous 1/17 birthdays (thanks to www.famousbirthdays.com)

Benjamin Franklin
Al Capone
James Earl Jones
Maury Povich
Muhammad Ali
Andy Kaufman
Jim Carrey
Kid Rock

Between all these guys, they founded Philadelphia, stole amazing amounts of money from the government, been in many well known movies, interviewed scores of pregnant teenagers, beaten up some of the best boxers in the world and slept with tons of women. That's quite a list of accomplishments, so here's to you, the "other" birthday boys today.

Faulty Logic, Starring Phil Mushnick

If you don't know Phil Mushnick, he writes a sports media criticism column for the New York Post. Most of the time it's either amusing or absurd. So here's some absurd.

In today's column he faults Mike and the Mad Dog for criticizing Joe Buck after reacting strongly to the Randy Moss fake mooning. The main point that the sports talk duo was making was that Joe Buck is on the FOX network, and other "disgusting acts" occur in their other programming. Mushnick says that Mike and the Mad Dog are in no position to criticize Buck for making those comments because also on WFAN is the Imus show, which can often be crude.

It's not like Mike and the Mad Dog were criticizing the Terrell Owens Monday Night Football opening or the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Here, they're talking about how an announcer was overreacting to something in poor taste, but really, it's not like he actually mooned the crowd, gave someone the finger or hit someone.

If we use the logic in the Mushnick article, he has no right to criticize Mike and the Mad Dog or Joe Buck because his paper printed, for example, a cover photo of a girl committing suicide last year.

What drives me most nuts about the New York Post is how sanctimonious it is, and worse, that people read it, agree with it, and pass judgement the way it does.

I Hate the Patriots

Don't ever underestimate the New England Patriots. That's the lesson that keeps getting beaten into me week after week while watching pro football. I would be very, very, very surprised if the Pats don't repeat as champs again. Yes, they lost at Pittsburgh earlier this year, but don't forget, Corey Dillon wasn't in the game. Things will fall into place next week, as Atlanta surprises Philly and the Steelers get knocked out.

Why do I hate the Patriots? Well, I have to admit, that hate is turning more and more into respect. But it all started because Belichek bolted from the Jets coaching job, took the Jet coordinators and a bunch of old Jet retread players and won the Super Bowl.

The Headline Should Read: Time Management Costs Jets Game

Poor Doug Brien. Everyone's going to blame him for the Jets playoff loss, but it wasn't really his fault. The offense only managed three points. Then there's the time management issue...

The Jets have a coach, Dick Curl, whose specialty is helping the head coach, Herman Edwards with time and clock management. With 1:37 remaining in the game, the Jets gained posession of the football after an interception at the Pittsburgh 36 yard line.

They get a first down on the first play, bringing the ball to the Pittsburgh 26. That's about a 45 yard field goal.

Let's go back to last week. In overtime, against the Jets, the San Diego Chargers had the ball at the Jets 22 yard line and ran three consecutive running plays right up the middle. They did this because they wanted to play it safe, and the Jets knew they would try to run, so they stacked the box and the Chargers gained about one or two yards. The result was that the San Diego kicker had to hit a 40 yard field goal, while they ought to have tried one pass to either score a TD or bring it a little closer to the end zone.

Now, back to the Steelers game. The stack the box because they know that now the Jets are in field goal range, they may play it safer. The Jets do exactly what the Chargers did -- leisurely allowing time to run out as they try to jam the ball up the middle. They were playing on the road in a stadium that is very difficult to kick in. They saw this exact scenario the week before. They do not even attempt to stretch the field. So was it any surprise that Doug Brien missed the second kick? In fact, with six seconds left, the Jets called a time out, then took a knee and called another time out with four seconds left!! What is going on? They have a separate coach for time management!

What a sour taste towards the end of a mostly well played game.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 9

On the ninth day, the Lord said, "Let there be fuzz."

Two Wacky Items on the Channel 2 Noon News

Wacky Item #1
New Yorkers owe backtaxes for cigarettes they bought over the Internet. Do cigarette taxes apply for interstate commerce? If you buy from amazon.com there's no sales tax. Isn't it the merchant's responsibility to collect and pay the taxes? If the taxes do apply, isn't the internet merchant's responsibility to know about the taxes then collect them from the person? I thought in sales transactions merchants collected and paid the taxes. Oh well, guess I'll have to take a few days off from studying tax code.

Wacky Item #2
A story designed to just to play to people's fears. A man who is on a terror watch list made it onto a British Airways flight. They discovered the error and transferred the passengers to another flight after another security check. Interviews on the tv news had the passengers saying how scared they were. I understand he's on a watch list, but he's not a convicted or charged crook yet...

Need to Write a Story? Why Not Write a Story About the Coverage of a Story?

Of course, this post could also be called, "Want to write a blog post? Why not write a post about a story about a story?"

Another Product That Makes My Eleven Month Old iPod Seem Out of Date

iPod Shuffle. It doesn't even hold anywhere near the amount of songs that my 15 GB iPod does. But my 3G iPod seems old, like it has no storage space, and colorless. I am a slave to marketing.

Approximately Sixty Guys Who Are Glad The Yankees Got Johnson and the Mets Got Beltran

aka "The New York Jets"

Photoshop and Newspapers

Should a "news" paper really use Photoshop to create cover images? Here's the Jan 11 back page sports image from the NY Post. Just seems like a conflict of interest. With Photoshop, anything can happen! For example, I used Photoshop on my profile photo to make it look like I have a thumb.

Salary Scale

Am I the only one who finds it fairly amusing that Armstrong Williams got paid $240,000 to support the "No Child Left Behind" Act, but the Vice President only gets paid about $200,000 per year?

In a related story, who the hell is Armstrong Williams?

Next Time You're On Hold, Don't Say Anything Important

According to the NY Times, "your call may be monitored" means that even when you're put on hold, someone could be listening.

Approximately One Sentence About Each Piece of Media I've Consumed in the Last Few Weeks

House of Flying Daggers - An entertaining film but a bit melodramatic.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - I liked Royal Tennenbaums better because the characters were deeper. On the other hand, I didn't like Rushmore, so take my opinion for what it's worth.

Simpsons Season 5 - Best. Season. Ever?

Elf - Cute, but I couldn't help feel like I was watching Will Ferrell act like a kid way too much.

Return of the King Extended Edition - 50 extra minutes to the theatrical cut. If you liked it the first time, you'll love the extended cut. If not, it's the same as the theatrical plus 50 minutes. What do you think?

U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - They co-marketed this with the release of a U2 themed iPod. This is not their strongest work.

Linkin Park/Jay-Z Collision Course - A CD with only 6 songs (21 minutes)!! And the RIAA wonders why people steal music.

Metal Gear Solid 3 - Great video game. I wish I had more time. Not as confusing as MGS2 (at least, so far).

America by Jon Stewart - Just about every sentence in this book makes me laugh.

Meet the Fockers - Not as charming as the first. Funny enough, but not a classic.

Arrested Development Season 1 - This show is hilarious. Watch it.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 6

Nothing to report. It looks the same as on Day 1. I think it's too cold and dark.

QB Comparison

Here are two QB's for playoff teams. One has been highly regarded this season, the other has been questioned quite a bit. Guess which is which.

Player	YDS	RTG	TD	INT	COMP %	GAMES
QB 1:	2673	91.0	16	9	65.4	13
QB 2:	2621	98.1	17	11	66.4	14

Who are these two QB's? Why they're former MAC all-stars, Chad Pennington (QB1) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB2)! Their numbers are quite close but for some reason Pennington is a dog while Roethlisberger is the next big thing. I guess the difference is in the yards per attempt -- 7.22 for Pennington and 8.89 for Roethlesberger. But overall, very similar numbers. If the Jets want to have any shot at winning, they need to take an early lead and force Roethlisberger to throw the ball. He has not had more than 25 passing attempts in any game.

Suddenly, this became an NFL blog

Did my life really become that boring???

NFL Playoffs Divisional Round

Whoa.

All the teams in the divisional round played in the regular season. Not to mention, they all played at the same venues they'll play at next weekend. In each case, the higher seed won the regular season match-up.

Week 1 Indianapolis (24) at New England (27)
Week 2 Minnesota (16) at Philadelphia (27)
Week 2 St. Louis (17) at Atlanta (34)
Week 14 NY Jets (6) at Pittsburgh (17)

Three Observations: Minnesota at Green Bay

I write these with 4:29 left in the game, Minnesota leading 31-17.

Observation #1 - Was tackling made illegal in Green Bay, WI? That's the only plausible explanation for the Packers defense. These guys couldn't tackle a grandmother.

Observation #2 - Yes, Brett Favre is a Hall of Fame QB, and everyone is due to have bad games. On the other hand, if a younger or less established player had the sort of game that Favre has had, there would be a lot more scrutiny about that player's abilities. Favre has been awful in this game, and completely careless. He's fortunate he's a veteran and one of the best, but this has been a dreadful performance on his part. Hopefully someone will also consult him regarding his dopey play right before the half, where on 3rd and 6 with about 20 seconds left, he scrambled for 5 yards, then tossed the ball carelessly into the end zone when he realized he wouldn't get the first down as he was chased out of bounds. Not only was it an illegal forward pass (with a five yard penalty) it could have easily been picked up by a defender (and it would have counted as an INT). They would have also had 4th and inches, which was probably a good situation to go for it at the end of the half, especially considering they were down 24-10.

Observation #3 - So Mike Sherman has lost two home playoff games at Lambeau Field. Two more than any other Packers coach ever. That's not something to be proud of.

Second Place is First Loser

The best thing about Shaun Alexander's complaint that the Seahawks' coaching staff "stabbed him in the back" by not allowing him to get the 2 rushing yards he needed to claim the NFL rushing title this year is that as he enters contract negotiations, teams can rub it in and say, "We'd give that money to the back with the most rushing yards, but not the second-most."

I Think the Rams Have a Good Shot

If you watch the St. Louis Rams play, you wonder how they are so successful. Managing time outs? Time of Possession? Turnovers? Rushing Yards? Defense? Special Teams? Irrelevant.

Instead, they have this unrelenting, amazing offense. A long drive is one that lasts six or seven plays. A 40+ yard pass play is pedestrian. They're so fast. According to the commentators of yesterday's game, they don't have audibles, just a ton of WR option routes.

Why do I think they have a good shot?

Minnesota, Green Bay and Atlanta rank 29, 25 and 24 in the NFL in passing defense yards. They've beaten Philly in the recent past in the championship game (2001). Their toughest game will be next week at Philly. Then they have to hit the road at Green Bay (no secondary) or at Minnesota/Atlanta (dome teams). This team has a chance.

Jets vs. Chargers - NFL Playoffs

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Jets really had me worried for a while. Do you think the Barton hit at the end of regulation was a cheap hit? I think it was borderline, and my belief is late in games that borderline calls should be non-calls.

Mr. T Chia Head - Day 1

The first day. Let's see how well Chia Mr. T will grow. Hopefully this is not a "cold window sill" that will be too harsh.

"You will notice your first Chia sprouts within a few days."

I Am So Smart. S-M-R-T.

On November 9th, I said about the New York Jets:

---
10-6 isn't a guarantee of a wildcard but I think it's the mark they have to expect/shoot for. They can go 11-5 if they beat AZ and Cleveland and then go .500 vs Baltimore, Pittsburgh, New England, St. Louis, Seattle and Houston. If they're really a "good" team then that's not an unreasonable expectation.
---

Stream of Consciousness Section:

How hot is Buffalo now? It doesn't look good for Gang Green heading into San Diego but this week's game proved that it would have looked worse if they had faced the Colts. Herm Edwards has a clock/game management guy, they went for two and missed in the third quarter. Hitting an extra point would have won the game in regulation. On a side note: I noticed today that New England is only 0-1 versus elite teams, obviously misleading since they can't play themselves, but still, the kind of misleading stat one could put in a tabloid newspaper sports section.

Happy 2005! Here's a Rant About Holidays!

It's New Year's Day! Don't forget to monitor how long after New Year's people are wishing you a "Happy New Year."

I thought it might be a good time to have a brief one-sided discussion of cool and not cool holidays.

New Year's Day. If you're a kid, cool. You get to drink champagne and stay up late to watch a dopey ball drop. If you're an adult, not cool. Don't you realize that for lots of people, this isn't really the "new year?" (Rosh Hoshanna and Chinese New Year come to mind). Not to mention, it's just a license for people who usually aren't drunk to go and overpay for drinks while getting totally smashed and act like fools.

Thanksgiving. The best holiday, perhaps. It's all about family and eating a lot. The only downside - traveling.

Christmas. Gift getting and decorations are a plus. The entire holiday industry is a minus. Also, as the Daily Show said, it's the day off from work where the non-Christians ponder the true meaning of "separation of church and state."

Valentine's Day. Let's face it. When you're single, it's a losing proposition because everyone in the world reminds you that you're single. When you're dating there's all this pressure to come up with some sort of "fun" or "creative" thing to do that day. Perhaps this is best when you're married.

St. Patrick's Day. Any holiday where alcohol is emphasized is a good one.

Easter. Colored eggs are sort of creepy. This is a strange one. It's so intrinsically religious yet the Easter Bunny is so absolutely secular.

Fourth of July. One of my "big three" holidays along with Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's just a big party all afternoon and then there's fireworks.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day, Labor Day, Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Earth Day, Presidents Day. I've no quarrel with Martin Luther King Jr., Columbus, Veterans, Laborers, Mothers, Fathers, the Earth or Presidents (well, save one).

Passover. I've never been to a seder but it sort of sounds like Thanksgiving only with wine and matzah.

Halloween. Sort of like New Year's Day in that as a kid, it's great (free candy!) but as an adult sort of tired (women dress scandalously, and masked faces are somewhat unnerving). Also, another "amateur night" where those who usually don't act like idiots suddenly decide it would be a good time to.

Gas Station Top Off

I was at the gas station the other day, and when the attendant (in New Jersey, all stations are full serv) topped off the tank in order to make my total a round dollar amount, I couldn't help but wonder, what if I didn't want it topped off?

What if, I was totally prepared to pay $8.17 for my gas and didn't want it rounded off to $8.50? It seems to me that gas stations have been getting away with this for ages. They're adding about 5-10% to their revenue by my calculations from topping off people's gas tanks. That's gas we didn't ask for.

Then again, for convenience sake it makes a little sense. Perhaps at the deli they should top off too. Instead of a "half pound of ham" perhaps we should ask for "five dollars worth."

Clubs Part 2

A while back, I complained about not getting into a club after some guy who was part of the group I was with backstabbed me.

Well, once again, New York City clubs didn't let me down. Two weeks ago, the first place I tried to meet my (mixed gender group of) friends at didn't let me in because I was male and "the ratio was bad." Then the place I ended up at didn't let my friends in when they tried to meet me because it was "too crowded." Fortunately, as they say, the third time was the charm and we ended up drinking at the same place. Eventually. In some ways this was pretty damn funny. In other ways, it was just pretty damn irritating.

Ancient Art of War

The Ancient Art of War, a PC Games series by Broderbund Software was one of the best games on the market. It's the precursor to the real-time strategy games like Warcraft or Age of Empires.

A little background - Broderbund and Sierra Games used to be the kings of PC Gaming. Broderbund had Carmen Sandiego, Ancient Art of War and Print Shop to its name. Remember Carmen Sandiego? She had a television show! (Sierra, as an aside, had several series, such as King's Quest, Police Quest, Space Quest and Leisure Suit Larry).

Ancient Art of War is due for a remake. I think it may have been ahead of its time. You would move characters from an overhead map until they confront enemy soldiers, at which point you would switch to a zoomed in version of the battle. Your opponent would be one of six historical generals, each with different characteristics (as I recall, Crazy Ivan, Napoleon, Athena and Sun Tzu were all options). Your soldiers were either archers (ranged combat), barbarians (close combat) or knights (intermediate). With retro games all the rage, this game HAS to be brought back!!!

It's the End of the Year! Time for a "Best of 2004" List!!!

Just kidding. I hate these.

Start Your Own Free Portal Services Company!

I've noticed a lot of similarities between all these portal service companies (ie Yahoo!, Google) and also the ISP's (AOL, MSN) so I decided to post what seems to be the essentials to starting your own!

1. Search Engine. This seems to be the fundamental element. You can disguise your search engine as a "directory" but you'll probably need something to help the average person find their "naked pictures of [insert current popular young female celebrity here]."

2. Free Web-Based Email. Get a good spam filter and a ton of storage and you're rolling!

3. Browser Toolbar Utility. Include a pop up blocker for those people not using Mozilla or Windows XP SP 2. The toolbar has to include at least a few mysterious icons and a search field. It would also be a good idea to include your logo on this toolbar.

4. Instant Messenger Service. Also known as "IM" service. Start one of these so people can communicate with each other using obscure abbreviations and smile faces. In fact, if you can design a cartoon face set of emotions to substitute for the generic ":)" you'll be that much further ahead of the competition.

5. Personalized "My" Page. This page should have as many little custom boxes as possible. Let people customize it so they can have instant access to sports scores, weather, stock prices, news items and HOROSCOPES of their choice. You can use this to connect to your other portal services as well.

Optional:
The following services are optional to your portal services company. You could do without them but it is HIGHLY recommended that you pick at least three of these five and add them to your blooming company.

1. Desktop Search Program. This is the new frontier of portal services. If you could create an all-encompassing desktop search program that also integrates with the operating system and your internet search engine, you'll be in business. Be careful!!! Make sure you have a plan to reassure users that your program isn't going to spill their computer's contents all over the internet. Then make sure that your reassurances are true.

2. Calendar. If it can sync with a PDA or Outlook, it would be better.

3. Web Hosting. You're already offering 3GB of web based email service, what's a few more GB for web sites?

4. Blogging Service. Goes hand in hand with web hosting. Censor your blogs if you like, but if that's the case, have a reassurance plan to your users. Perhaps hire the same PR people who will get you out of the "Desktop Search Program" jam.

5. Groups/Newsgroups service. Because who really knows how to use newsgroups? Make it userfriendly and the people will come.

Finally, a word about advertising. You say, "Blogman, if I'm giving all this stuff away for free, how does my portal services company make any money?" (Yes, you are giving all the above services for free). Blogman says, "Advertising. The future is advertising."

Look at every one of these portal services as an opportunity for advertising. By offering services you'll get more subscribed users. Then, you can charge advertisers higher and higher rates as your market share increases. As mentioned, the search engine is the centerpiece of this. Anytime someone uses your service, there should be ads around.

Good luck starting your own portal services company! Remember, it's a tough market out there but if you're successful enough, maybe Microsoft will try to take you down! Once you start getting hate mail from Bill Gates, you'll know you've made it. I can't believe I wrote all this for free!

December 26, 2004 New England Patriots "versus" New York Jets

Well, we probably could have asked for half our money back since one team didn't show up to this game. The Patriots dominated this game. In two games versus the Pats, the Jets have put up 14 points. Last week, Miami scored 29. Apparently Chad Pennington didn't get the memo until the fourth quarter -- Santana Moss and he are on the same team!!!

On sports radio the fans are berzerk. But the fans were insane to begin with. One guy is clamoring for Quincy Carter!

Look, they played their worst game of the season and they picked a bad time to do it. The team isn't that bad.

While the Jets were awful last week, this talk of "beating elite teams" is a load of crap. Nobody has beaten the elite teams, that's why they're elite. If you look at these elite teams: New England, Pittsburgh and Philly, you'll find that of the four losses that these three teams have total, two are to Pittsburgh, one to Baltimore (in week 2) and one to Miami! Look at other AFC playoff contenders versus "elite teams" - Baltimore (1-3), Indianapolis (0-1), Buffalo (0-2, Pittsburgh next wk), and Denver and San Diego haven't even played any of these teams. The term "elite team" has become a cliche in New York the last few weeks and I have no idea where it began.

One other thing, everyone is talking about the Bills. Blah, blah, blah Bills so great, etc. As I recall, a few weeks ago, the Patriots destroyed the Bills. But look at the opposite in perception - the Bills are hot, "nobody" wants to play them but the Jets are "cold" and can't beat anyone. If Buffalo gets into the playoffs you have my guarantee that they will not beat New England.

Enjoy some full color photos.

A Non-Denominational Holiday Greeting from the Kitchen Fresh Blog

Have a nice day.

December 19, 2004 - New York Jets vs. Seattle Seahawks

Some things I saw. I decided not to include images of the man standing in front of us sticking his hands down his wife's pants. It was quite gross.