A Bus Trip to Boston

Two anecdotes from a recent bus trip I took to Boston:

I learned from the last bus trip that the best way to stay occupied on the bus was to either sleep or watch DVD's. So I armed myself with a mini DVD player and two discs of Seinfeld Season 4 and Super Size Me, a Netflix disc that I had in posession for several weeks.

When I got on the bus, I took the window seat, and it was packed. The guy who sat next to me must have been 300 lbs and was ready to crush me. He carried a large soda cup that nestled into the area between his tit and belly quite well. I was a little apprehensive about watching Super Size Me at this point, but I figured, "What the heck?" and popped it in. The first five to ten minutes of the movie are full of shots of fat people, so I angled the player to prevent my oversized neighbor from seeing that I was watching a movie that ridiculed him. Fortunately I had headphones. At the rest stop, I had to get off the bus, and this guy was so large it was awkward for him to step into the aisle, so he saw I was antsy and kept apologizing. Of course, I said, "No problem, it's okay" (but it really wasn't okay).

On the return trip, it turns out I had the same bus driver! What are the odds? I know it was the same guy, not only because of his appearance, but because of his Yankees #12 (Alfonso Soriano?) pin. Midway through, I had to pee like mad, and I wasn't sure if we would make a rest stop. So it was the bus bathroom for me. The bus bathroom is not a friendly place for a male trying to pee, and I was terrified that I would end up nailing my leg after we suddenly stopped. Fortunately, only through luck and great balance, I was able to avoid any messy situations.