Monday, February 28, 2005

Numbers Game

David Wells is wearing #3 for his new team because he is a big fan of Babe Ruth. But Babe Ruth never wore #3 for Boston. When Babe Ruth was in Boston, players didn't wear numbers. The numbers started being used with the Yankees in 1929. That was when Ruth wore #3. Thought some might find this either interesting or amusing.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Two First Names

I have a saying, "I don't trust anyone with two first names." I don't know if it's true.

It has come to my attention that Villanova has a basketball player named Allan Ray, and I believe this means he should be automatically promoted to the NBA and also automatically on the same team as Ray Allen, no matter what the team or salary cap situation is. This would, of course, lead to teriffic humorous scenarios where announcers would continually confuse both players.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Jobs With Low Success Rates

The weatherman must be the guy with the easiest job in the world. Talk about a person who can be wrong all the time and still keep his job, because after all, "it's the weather!"

When was the last time a weatherperson was fired for being inaccurate? Usually they get deposed because they are too old or not good-looking enough. Could you imagine if your doctor was as inaccurate as the weather man? He'd be the mayor of Malpractice City! What about if a policeman had the accuracy of a weather man? There'd be tons of improper arrests and accidental killings.

The other job with low success rates is Major League Baseball hitter. Here, a 30% success rate is somewhere between above average and superstar. Next time you need to perform a task for work or school, try it at 30% accuracy. If they ask why you did so poorly, say, "It's good enough for MLB!" See how far that gets you.

This made me laugh...

and laugh... and laugh...

Except he wasn't successful. I saved this post for today because of the "haiku Friday" rule and it didn't seem to work out. They've decided to name it the "Jimmy Fund Center" instead.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Pitchers on 'Roids?

No pitchers on 'roids?
I find that hard to believe
No one seems to care

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

FYI - blogs

CNET News.com reports that spyware and malicious code infiltrates blogs. Surprise, you're most at risk if you're using Internet Explorer.

Surly

I like how the headline of this article is that Bonds "raged against the media". Given his predicament, "rage" is an interesting choice of language. I wonder if his general surliness is related to 'roid rage.

It sounded a bit like he doesn't see why using steroids was a bad thing, but while not directly admitting he used steroids, he didn't deny it either.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bernie Said It...

...but I was thinking it:

"You have one of the greatest Yankees ever to wear the uniform in Cap," Williams said, referring by nickname to the former Yankee captain Don Mattingly. "Who would argue that he is a true Yankee? And still, he never won a World Series."

Counter-Move?

I guess Britain just wants to make doubly sure we wouldn't be able to use this weapon on them.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Simpsons from 2/20/05

Last night's episode of The Simpsons featured gay marriage as an issue, and a link was posted to www.springfieldisforgayloversofmarriage.com, and lo and behold, it works!

I was going to post a screen cap but I'm too homophobic.

Horrible Metaphor

"This thing is going down to the wire," said Assemblyman Keith L. Wright, a Democrat, possibly the only one of nine candidates for Manhattan borough president who supports the stadium. "This is going to be a two-minute drill. Either you score a touchdown, or you miss a field goal at the end."
---

A touchdown and a missed field goal aren't opposites. It would have been simpler if he just said, "This is going to be a two-minute drill. Either you score or you don't."

Also, nobody's going to get Jet fan support for a new stadium if they talk about missed field goals during this off season.

Inside Their Heads

New game. I'll put what the person must be thinking, then you click on the link to find out who the person is.

"I can't wait until Jason Giambi gets here." (related story)

"Maybe if the NHL season starts, people will pay less attention to me." (related story)

"Yay! Even though I'm retired, ESPN.com still has a player profile page for me. Can I charge them for that?"
(related story)

"I need to google 'Paris Hilton address book' immediately." (related story)

Checking out CNN.com

Two items from CNN.com today, as I putz around.

1) A contestant on NBC's Contender committed suicide. They've been filming for six months, so let's hope that his outcome on the show didn't affect this suicide! That would be quite sad. The show itself has been heavily advertised recently, and despite numerous schedule changes (which typically are a bad sign), the commercials look pretty good. Seems like they are going to go with very personalized stories for each of the contestants, and follow families and friends as they watch the contestants. If I were to watch this show, I would hope that it doesn't have games and races (like other reality TV), but instead had a bunch of boxing matches after in-depth profiles on the boxers.

2) On another note, I think that CNN.com must have an "absurdity" filter, where its news wire feeds labels stories as "absurd" or "meaningless," and then posts one of them in the top headlines under "More News." Today's entry is about how Madame Tussaud's had to break up the wax Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Are these stories written by junior reporters trying to make a name for themselves or by senior reporters who now just want to sit back and rest on their laurels?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Arrested Development

From the Arrested Development website...

==============
Dear Arrested Development Fans:

Thank you for your e-mail and your passionate support of Arrested Development. While the show has finished production for its second season, contrary to the rumors you may have heard or read on the internet, it is NOT cancelled.

We at FOX love Arrested Development and we look forward to having the Bluth family back on FOX in the future – hopefully for many years. You can help make the show a bigger success by getting as many people as possible to start watching the show this Sunday and every Sunday at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT.

Sincerely,
Fox Broadcasting Company
==============

Isn't this only effective if I know a Nielsen family? I don't know any Nielsen families.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

He Must Have Been Joking When He Said It...

From the article:

Giants manager Felipe Alou said the steroid suspicion won't be a distraction this spring.

Still Hard to Root For

I may have mentioned this before, but this year's Yankees are harder for me to root for than usual. They're going to really test the "root for the uniform" theory. Let's take a look (asterisks indicate new '05 acquisition):

Pitchers
Randy Johnson* - beat the Yankees in 2001 World Series
Carl Pavano* - beat the Yankees in 2003 World Series
Jaret Wright* - not very popular with other teams while with Indians
Kevin Brown - surly and punched a wall with his hand, also not very good against the Red Sox in '04

Mike Mussina is the ace of the staff. Didn't he just get here?

Fortunately, there's still Mariano Rivera.

Position Players
Jorge Posada, Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Tino Martinez* - not hard to root for
Hideki Matsui - not hard to root for, especially since an interpreter can filter any inflammatory remark he'll make
Tony Womack* - not hard to root for, but not particularly good, and has the chance of being awful
Alex Rodriguez - still doesn't feel quite right
Jason Giambi - I still like the guy but it's hard to root for a cheater
Gary Sheffield - see "Jason Giambi"

To sum up:
I find four of the new acquisitions hard to root for (out of five) and three of the nine starting players who remain have made themselves harder to root for.

I used to think that if this year's team became a disaster that I might still be entertained by all the antics. I don't think that's true because I could care less about the Knicks right now, and the wheels came off that wagon long ago.

The Gates

I can't say the Gates in Central Park were the coolest thing I've ever seen, but this parody was pretty good.

NY Times write-up

Free iTunes

Since I have nothing to report, might as well mention a quick way for free iTunes.

One Week and No Updates

Sorry. Just not much interesting to report. No haiku to write. No stupid stories to tell. Nothing really happening.

Oh, pitchers and catchers reported.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

One Man Who Wishes The NHL Lockout Was Resolved

Who knows if it would have taken the spotlight off him, but at least a few families here and there would be talking about how bad the Rangers are instead of his "non apology."

Friday, February 11, 2005

Caffiene

I drank way too much caffiene and now I can't sleep. This is not a haiku despite the fact that it is Friday because I am tired.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Duck Boats

I guess when you're the Champs you can do whatever you want, but when I think "tough, hard-hitting football team," I don't usually think "duck boats."

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

New Format?

I've been thinking about sprucing up the blog page a little bit, maybe with a new format?

On the other hand, content seems to be the key thing in these blogs and frankly there's not enough exciting going on right now for me to be posting good stories right and left, so you may be left with my keen observations on things such as long receipts, sports and the media.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Super Bowl Observation #4

My fourth and final observation.

This Super Bowl is reminding me a lot of last year's. Both teams couldn't score in the first quarter, and now they're moving the ball fairly easily on each other. Unfortunately for me, I also know how last year's Super Bowl ended.

Super Bowl Observation #3

When Eugene Wilson walked off the field with an undisclosed just before halftime, Cris Collinsworth said, "I don't like to speculate on injuries but when a guy walks off the field it's probably not something like a shoulder or elbow."

7-7 at the half but New England really carved up Philly on their scoring drive.

Super Bowl Observation #2

When the Packers beat the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXI, Andy Reid was on the Packers offensive staff and Bill Bellichek on the Patriots defensive staff.

This probably doesn't mean anything, but somehow it makes me change my mind to the position that Philadelphia has a nonzero chance of winning.

Super Bowl Observation #1

Philly won the toss. That's the only thing they're winning tonight, I suspect.

A Few Words About Receipts

I just got a receipt from the grocery store for a half gallon of orange juice that I purchased with cash. It was eight inches long. Another receipt from the other day, with two items purchased with cash at the grocery store, nine inches long. Is there a reason I need such a huge receipt? Especially for the grocery store. Don't even get me started on Best Buy/Circuit City/CompUSA where purchasing a single electronics item (like a DVD) nets you a twelve inch receipt that includes the entire store policy on it. Can I just get a little receipt? These big ones are a waste and just impractical.

Best D*** Sports Show Period

I thought it was a joke when I heard that FOX was changing the name of "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" to the "The Best Darn Super Bowl Road Show Period" for today's big game.

Nope, not a joke.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Firefox Extensions

I've been experimenting a little bit with Mozilla Firefox Extensions and happened upon this Adblock extension. It's pretty interesting because it blocks flash ads and images from external servers. You can customize it quite a bit.

The only reason I'm writing this post is that I also found a "Blog This!" extension and am trying it out.

Krugman vs. O'Reilly

A recent "Great Moments in Punditry as Read by Children" on the Daily Show reminded me of this great exchange on the Tim Russert Show last summer. I saw this one on air and it was a hoot!!

Click on the link and read the whole thing. It's a RIOT.

KRUGMAN: ...you take a look at anything I've written about economics, and I'm not a socialist. You know, that's a slander.

O'REILLY: I said quasi.

KRUGMAN: Well, that's a wonderful--then you're a quasi-murderer. I mean, why--what...

O'REILLY: I'm a quasi-murderer?

KRUGMAN: Well, quasi is a pretty open thing.

O'REILLY: That's ridiculous. All right.

KRUGMAN: Right. I'm nowhere close to that.

Can He Even Afford A Suit??

I thought MJ was bankrupt...

From the New York Times:

"As his trial began last week, Michael Jackson did not play the part of the criminal defendant ordered by his lawyers to buy a respectable suit and tie."

MSG Bids on Jets Stadium Land

An interesting move by the MSG people - they are bidding twice as much as the Jets are offering for the rail yard that the Jets would like to build their stadium on.

Is this a bluff? What happens if the MTA gives it to them? Will they be able to actually build anything on it? Would the City even try to help them out? This has major humor potential, and whenever a joke can be made, I'm all for it being made.

Alberto Gonzalez - Confirmed!

I don't know much about Alberto Gonzalez, but I have to be a little concerned when I read this in the New York Times (yes, I know it has a bias).

"Giving Alberto Gonzales the nation's top legal post is a terrible signal to send the rest of the world, and to American citizens concerned with human rights."

I'm an American citizen concerned with human rights. This doesn't sound so good.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Anniversary Haiku

One year old iPod
Already, it's out of date
But it still works fine

Thursday, February 03, 2005

MoMA

I still haven't made it over to the new MoMA, but I saw an ad for it on the subway. The ad featured a photo of a very plain looking helicoptor that I guess they've got over there.

Now, is a helicoptor art? I don't really think so. When someone designed the helicoptor, this person was trying to make a helicoptor, not an artistic helicoptor. Perhaps certain helicoptors, if they were painted in a strange way or had funky aerodynamics could be considered art, but if they were mass-produced, that has to be another strike against them.

We could consider that many of these art museums contain anthropoligical items that are on this border of art/not art. For example, the Met has armor and musical instruments. These are just as much anthropology/archeology type items. Does this mean that the American Museum of Natural History is an art museum? I'm sure they have jewelry or pottery from various cultures. If we accept this helicoptor as an art piece, then won't we have to accept the National Museum of Air and Space as an art museum as well?

I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end. But these are the sorts of stupid things I wonder from time to time.

Star Trek

Much like the real-life space program, sounds like the fictional one is grounded too.

I believe (and this may be semantics) that the statement at the beginning of this article is untrue:

"For the first in 18 years, prime-time U.S. network television will be without a starship crew to 'boldly go where no man has gone before.' "

Semantics: Both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine were not prime-time network television shows, rather they were syndicated shows. This means they could be aired on any station at any time.

Example: "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a prime-time network show when it airs Mondays at 9pm (EST) on local CBS affiliates only. "Andromeda" is a syndicated program that airs on channels that may be completely unrelated throughout the nation.

De-Gifting

Daunte Culpepper, meet Tim Whatley.

This story made me completely change my mind about Super Bowl media days. If funny stuff like this could be guaranteed to happen, then I'd say, take four weeks off before the Super Bowl!

Inhaled Ethanol

Thanks to my friend for sending this link to AWOL - the alcohol without liquid website. That's right, why drink to get drunk when you can inhale to get drunk?

At first, I didn't know what to think of this idea. But do you really want to put down $300 for a machine to allow you to inhale alcohol? That's $300 without even getting any alcohol.

Secondly, do you want to get your $300 alcohol inhalation machine from a company that thinks "without" is two words?

Special Ops Cody

Captured in action.
Is this really true?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

State of the Union

Wow. I totally didn't realize the State of the Union was tonight.

I was going to suggest a "State of the Union drinking game" but if you search for that on Google (or any other search engine of your preference) you'll find plenty of them.

So the state of the union always seems to be "strong". Will a President ever decide otherwise? I looked this up in the C-SPAN archives. As far as I can tell, this is a trend that Bill Clinton started in 1996 to say that the state of the union is strong.

Anyone care to present evidence to the contrary? I looked at the Clinton speeches, and then a random sample of some of those before.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

While I Try to Get Psyched for MLB

Interleague Play. Teams play their "natural rivals" for two series, where they play only one series against other interleague opponents.

In the case of the Cubs, their natural rival is the White Sox. The Mets have the Yankees. Some are more of a stretch, like the Red Sox and Braves, who once used to play in the same city.

Then there's the case of the Blue Jays and Expos -- the only two Canadian teams. They were natural rivals, except now, the Expos are in Washington DC. One would think then that the DC rival would become Orioles (whose previous natural rival was the Phillies). But instead, it's DC versus the Blue Jays.

Pretty silly, especially since there's already an existing tension from Orioles owner Peter Angelos, who is unhappy about the Expos-to-DC move. Sure, it's a little confusing for the schedulers to change, but it wouldn't be that hard.

This does set up a nice USA vs Canada rivalry (after all, nobody likes the Canucks) between the capital city of the USA, versus the only city in Canada that US citizens can identify (with Montreal a possible close second, and Vancouver a distant third).

Too bad Oakland is in the same league as Toronto. Otherwise the natural rivalry could be Blue Jays and the Oakland Eh's.

Two Stories About Change (The Coins, Not the Action)

Story 1

I left this morning with $1.08 in change in my pocket. The total was comprised of the most useless coin combination possible - eight pennies and one sacagawea dollar.

Story 2

One time (have I told this one before?), somebody asked me for some change with the following line. I don't know if it was a request or a threat.

"I just got out of prison. Can you give me some change?"