Sunday, July 18, 2004

A Note to Ben Affleck

Mr. Affleck,

Before I begin, please accept my condolances regarding the abrupt conclusion to your relationship with Ms. Jennifer Lopez (J-Lo).

I am writing because I just recently viewed The Sum of All Fears and was very disappointed. The first film I ever saw of yours was Good Will Hunting and I enjoyed your portrayal of Chuckie Sullivan. Since then, you've made a number of movies, and I must admit to having seen about seven or eight of them. After having seen these films, I must implore you, throw in the towel.

Look, you don't have to throw in the towel for good. But you may want to consider taking a nice, long break. At the very least, don't ever take over a project that Harrison Ford started. When Hollywood comes calling with The Fugitive 2 or Indiana Jones 4, don't answer the phone.

In your defense, the Sum of All Fears as a bad movie isn't all your fault. Morgan Freeman also turns in a surprisingly weak performance, and the script is stale. On the other hand, your recent cinematic ventures (with the exception of Daredevil) haven't been received too well. These include: Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Changing Lanes and of course, Gigli. No longer is "Matt Damon's pal" being attached to your name, it is now instead, "J-Lo's ex" and "crummy films."

Previous films of yours have remained enjoyable. Boiler Room is supposed to be quite good, and Kevin Smith noted that "You were the bomb in Phantoms!" Perhaps I'll check those out some day. But for now, I think it is in your best interest to stop making films.

2 comments:

PJ said...

Did you see Changing Lanes? I thought Affleck was really good in that movie. I also thought that it wasn't a BAD movie, just that it was a quality mediocre film that was overhyped in the weeks leading up to its release.

As for the rest of your titles...yeah, I got no arguments with those...

Blogman said...

I must admit. I have not seen Changing Lanes. Also, another addendum to the open letter, Fugitive 2 has technically already been made in the form of US Marshals. But still the principle remains, Mr. Affleck, don't answer for Working Girl 2 or Air Force 2