Thursday, September 30, 2004

Washington Expos

Well, I guess they'll actually be the "Washington Senators" but I wonder if when they have retro-jersey day (and you know they will) if they'll wear Expos uniforms.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

867-5309

I have a feeling if someone has the phone number 867-5309, they probably get a ton of crank/drunk calls. "Yo man, your phone number's a song!"

But trying to buy the song on iTunes, I got this link instead. You'll need iTunes for it to work.

If you're not using iTunes I'll give you a hint:

Album Title: Arnold Schwartzenegger's Total Body Workout. It's a pretty good 30 sec clip. This guy is a governor!!!

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Nations of fans

Hmm. Just noticed that the Red Sox and Raiders seem to be the only teams that have fans who are referred to as "Nations." It would be great to see them go to war.

The Cowboys are "America's Team" so their fans could invade the Red Sox and Raider Nations and then topple the infrastructure while implementing puppet fan governments that did whatever Cowboys fans wanted.

Also, what does a group of fans need to do in order to become a "Nation?" Packer fans are loyal but they're called Cheeseheads (sounds derogatory to me). The Cubs haven't won in a long time but their loyal fans don't seem to qualify as a nation either. The White Sox also haven't in a long time, but again, no nation, despite the fact they are also a "Sox" team.

Speaking of Sox, why did the Red/White Stockings change their name to Sox? Are there any other pro sports teams that spell their names incorrectly on purpose? Wouldn't that be like rooting for the Metz?


Music at NFL Games

I like when NFL teams play the appropriate music at games for lulls.

For example, at Giants games, they'll play Tom Petty's "The Waiting" during an instant replay. Or I've heard the Dave Matthews Band song, "I Did It" after a penalty.

In baseball, I always thought it would be great if when a visiting relief pitcher comes into a crucial moment in a game, that the home team plays a highlight package of the home team beating up on that reliever. That would really rev up the crowd!! For example, if Byung-Hyun Kim entered another game at Yankee Stadium, they'd flash up on the board all these moments he had blown saves against the Yankees (ie 2001 World Series).

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Poland Spring

Kudos to the Poland Spring marketing people who came up with the nifty tag of "Thirst Quencher" for their 1 L bottle. It makes me wonder what some of their other work might have been like. Perhaps a label for Rolex watches that says, "Keeps Time" or one for books at the bookstore that say, "For Reading."

NFL Week 3

Last Week 6-10
Season 11-19-2

If I don't turn this thing around, I might have to stop...

GIANTS (-3) Browns *As bad as I think the Giants may be, Browns are worse*
DOLPHINS (-1) over Steelers *Low scoring game*
TITANS (-6) Jaguars *Jags lucky to win last week*
BENGALS (+3) Ravens *Ravens can't pass*
CHIEFS (-7.5) Texans *A big spread, don't know what to make of it*
RAMS (-7) Saints *Both teams on the way down, but no McCallister means Rams win*
VIKINGS (-9) Bears *Big point spread but I think Vikings at home are capable*
LIONS (+4.5) Eagles *Don't know that Eagles are that good*
FALCONS (-10) Cardinals *Big spread risky, but Cardinals stink*
Chargers (+10) BRONCOS *Broncos don't warrant a 10 pt spread*
COLTS (-6) Packers *Will be close. How good is Green Bay?*
SEAHAWKS (-10) 49ers Again, big spread... tough pick*
RAIDERS (-3) Buccanneers *Bucs are going downhill*
Cowboys (+1.5) REDSKINS *Injuries force a loss for Wash*

Sports Night

You know when you never watch a show regularly how the second time you see it, you see the same episode as the first time you watched it?

I had only seen Sports Night once before borrowing the DVD. The second episode I watched was the episode I've seen before. How odd.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Sniffling

I am congested
Hope I am not starting to
Come down with something

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Strange Dreams

Last night I had a strange dream. Normally I don't remember my dreams but this one was trippy.

For some reason in the dream (lost in context), I was outdoors at a park or the beach and a seagull targeted me for poop.

Then, as I was heading home, fairly upset about having been shat on (the bird hit me on the right arm), a pigeon nailed me in the back of the head. Obviously, I was even more distraught.

Any ideas?

Monday, September 20, 2004

1991

Just browsing through my music collection and I have two conclusions:

Either 1991 was one of the best years ever in pop music, or the music we hear in our early teens ends up being our favorite music forever.

Consider the following albums, all released in 1991:

Pearl Jam - Ten
Nirvana - Nevermind
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Metallica - Metallica (The "Black" Album)
U2 - Achtung Baby
Soundgarden - Badmotorfinger
Guns N Roses - Use Your Illusion 1 & 2
REM - Out of Time
Tom Petty - Into the Great Wide Open
Van Halen - For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
Michael Jackson - Dangerous


Saturday, September 18, 2004

Firefox

Get the Firefox browser and then you can subscribe to the Kitchen Fresh Blog using the RSS subscription function. Then you can see my newest ramblings and cultural insights automatically show up in your bookmarks folder!!!

(If you're that excited about this blog, then we need to have a talk.)

Trading Spouses

This is a new show on FOX but I'm sure it was a spoof on Chapelle's Show first. Episode 12, as I recall... I sure hope Dave Chapelle he gets some sort of royalties for inspiring the ideas, or at least a co-creator credit.

Bad Guys Have Beards

I didn't say that -- it was in the New York Times! Since I'm watching the Red Sox vs. the Yankees today, does that mean the Sawx are the bad guys? Just another reason why the short-haired clean shaven Yankees are the good guys. Why is that? Didn't you hear? Everything in the New York Times is true.

By the way, this is the second time in about a month that I've read an article in the Fashion section of the New York Times. The first was about how thongs are going out of style (darn!).

NFL Week 2

Last Week/Season: 5-9-2

Hopefully I'll do better this week. Can I do any worse? I won't be picking the divisions like I expected originally. Live with it.

Redskins (-3) GIANTS *I think the Giants are pretty bad.*
Jets (-3) CHARGERS *Dangerous game for the Jets*
Broncos (-3) JAGUARS *Wasn't sure how to pick this one*
Steelers (+4) RAVENS *Ditto above*
LIONS (-3) Texans *Houston lost to San Diego!*
TITANS (-1) Colts *Yes, I think Indy starts 0-2*
PACKERS (-8.5) Bears *Seems like a big spread*
SAINTS (-7) 49ers *Who's the 49ers QB?*
FALCONS (-2.5) Rams *Rams on the decline*
CHIEFS (-6) Panthers *No Davis makes this pretty certain*
Seahawks (-3) BUCCANEERS *Bucs on the decline*
COWBOYS (-4.5) Browns *Vinny out guns Garcia this week*
CARDINALS (+8) Patriots *8 points is a lot! NE always wins close ones*
RAIDERS (3.5) Bills *Wasn't sure how to pick this one*
BENGALS (-5) Dolphins *Unless Palmer throws a ton of INTs*
Vikings (+3) EAGLES *The Eagles are overrated*

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Who's the man?

I typed that into Google hoping to find an answer but the first link I got was for a movie with that title.

If we're talking Jeopardy, then the man is Ken Jennings. He really is quite good at the whole Jeopardy thing. But I wonder what his employer thinks about all this. Hasn't he taken a few too many days off of work?

Not to mention, do you think his amazing ability at Jeopardy affects the show’s ability to recruit new contestants? If I wanted to be on the show, I'd sure make sure that I waited for him to lose before trying out.

Money

It's become apparent that the US Treasury is trying to trick foreigners with our money.

Let's see... we have three different kind of $20 bills, two types of $10's and $5's, then what will eventually be 51 different types of quarters in circulation. Then, don't forget the three $1 options (one bill and two coins, an obscure coin which looks exactly like a quarter and another which nobody believes is legitimate currency). So now what? How about two new nickels to add to the one we already have! Sounds like a good plan!

May I please have some Euros?

The Ramones

Sad news as Johnny Ramone passed away last night.

When I first heard about it, I thought, "Wow, it's sad that all those brothers died so recently." Then I read the entire article and found out that they weren't related, and I felt a bit stupid.

Later in the day, I mentioned this fact to a friend of mine. This friend didn't know they were not related or that he had died. I said, "I had always assumed they were brothers too!" So I felt better. Until the friend reminded me that "assume makes an ass out of you and me."

I feel like I should have seen that one coming.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

I Feel Like...

...tearing my hair out!

Everyone around me is starting to use the phrase, "I feel like..." to start their sentences. It's sort of like the new "like."

In the words of Charlie Brown, "Good Grief!"

Hurricane Coverage

Watching CNN, they stuck their morning anchor, Bill Hemmer in the middle of the hurricane. No doubt that the rest of the news channels are doing the same thing.

Do we really need a news person in the middle of the storm for us to believe how bad it is? I've always found this to be amusing. What is the reporter going to say? "Well, Sean, we've been out here in the middle of the storm, and it's really not that bad!" Or perhaps the other extreme, "Damn! It really IS raining here!!! I never thought the wind would be like this!"

Come on! Poor Dan Rather was out in the middle of one of the other hurricanes this year. He's 73! He's interviewed Saddam Hussein! Now he's stuck in a wind and rain storm? At this point shouldn't he be able to just do the cushy stuff?

Monday, September 13, 2004

Taxi Front Seat

Ever notice how the front seat (shotgun seat) of a taxi is a non-conversational position? In a group of 3-4 people the person sitting in the front has been placed in the penalty box. First, they're required to twist around in order to participate in any conversation with the rest of the group. Usually, there's a plastic partition, making it practically impossible. Most cab drivers hate it when someone sits up front, and they are forced to move some of their junk out of the way. The only benefit to the position is when the cab driver gets completely lost this person can get everyone back on track.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Going out

Ever notice if you go out with a big group, you need people to fill certain roles?

For example, every group needs a:

Idea Man/Woman
This is the person who says, "Why don't we go to..."

Let's Go Guy/Girl

The other crucial component to going out in a group, this person mobilizes the group. "It's time to go to..." This person can be the same as the Idea Man, but not necessarily. Typically this role is filled by a tall or at least very recognizable person. It may be their role later in the night to mobilize the group again.

Then, there are some less essential roles:

Whatever You're Doing Dude/Dudette

Fairly obvious -- "Where are you going?" "Whatever you're doing." This person is the right hand man to Let's Go Guy. If a group has multiple "Whatever You're Doing Dudes" it's beneficial since the group mobilizes much more quickly.

Meet You There Chick/Guy
There's always some person who "will meet you there." Usually a woman, this person doesn't always make it to the final destination. But they'll say they will. Also known as, "Call Me When You Get There Chick/Guy."

Gotta Go To The ATM Man/Woman
Inevitably, one person will not have enough money before the plan set forth by Idea Guy/Girl is put in motion.

Camera Guy/Girl

Someone is bound to have a camera and will try to capture embarrassing moments.

Finally, there's:

Tagalong
The person nobody wants around but nobody had the heart to tell them.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

A Superman Moment

Yes, I'm actually comparing myself to the Man of Steel.

Sitting in the library, I'm hearing some high pitched noise of unknown origin. It might be from a computer but it's really whirring loudly. No matter the source, I feel like Superman when Lex Luthor tries to contact him in Superman IV with that high pitched sound only Superman and the dogs can hear. The noise is driving me batty.

I could have likened it to a dog around a dog whistle but I thought it sounded cooler if it was called a "Superman" moment.

9/11

All I have to say is that I still get a lump in my throat when I think about it or see any tv footage from that day. Poor people.

NFL Week 1

Week 1 Picks (home team in caps)

DOLPHINS (+3) vs Titans
EAGLES (-9) vs Giants
JETS (-4.5) vs Bengals
STEELERS (-4) vs Raiders
Buccaneers (+2) vs REDSKINS
Ravens (+3) vs BROWNS
JAGUARS (-3) vs Bills
Lions (+3) vs BEARS
Seahawks (-3) vs SAINTS
RAMS (-11) vs Cardinals
TEXANS (-4.5) vs Chargers
VIKINGS (-4.5) vs Cowboys
Falcons (-3.5) vs 49ERS
Chiefs (+3) vs BRONCOS
PANTHERS (-3) vs Packers

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Hurricanes

Wow. Three hurricanes in the span of almost a month in Florida! I can't remember anything like that. Makes me wonder if we really do need the "life saving" capabilities of Weatherbug.

Also, makes me think that calling the University of Miami teams the "Hurricanes" isn't such a good idea. Sure, it's a cool name, and implies destruction without annoying any specific ethnic groups (tomahawk chop, anyone?), but also sort of makes light of some sort of potentially horrible event. That's why I think all sports teams should be named after articles of clothing, like the New York Knickerbockers.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Maybe I'm just immature...

But reading this statement gave me a chuckle:

"Travis is the starting running back," Mularkey said. "If he needs a blow, Willis is there in the wings and, hopefully, there's not a dropoff in level of play."

The full story:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1877627

Stop raining!

I was supposed to go to the Yankees game today.

The tickets were from a rainout versus the Angels. It turns out they played the whole game, but because of extensive delays we got free tickets to a future game. I picked this one.

Then yesterday, MLB and the Yankees announced that they would play a single admission doubleheader! Two games for the price of one! Super!

Except... As any junior meteorologist might know, Hurricane Frances was in Florida on Sunday. These storms move up the coast and take, maybe 3 days to get around the NY area? Perfect timing. Maybe it would have been wise to consult the weather forecast and put the games on Tuesday (when it was completely clear). Now it's pouring rain here, and likely I will miss a Yankees game AGAIN because of rain. To boot, I get to miss TWO games, despite the fact that I was only planning on going to one.

First NFL Pick

Guaranteed:

Patriots are 3 point favorites over Indy. They're hosting Indy and it's the opener. Pats beat the spread and the Colts. Manning can't solve the Bellichek scheme.

More picks to come Saturday, including the standings.

Texans for Truth

Just starting to realize that part of the reason why so many of my posts reflect on politics is because politics is so amusing to me.

Case in point: "Texans for Truth" have started posting ads questioning the President's military service record. Sound familiar? I love it.

Fortunately, the ridiculousness that is the Texans for Truth has been overshadowed by even greater absurdity - the notion Dick Cheney presented that we would be more vulnerable to terrorists under John Kerry. That we would revert to "pre-9/11 conditions" if we eleceted Kerry. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Cheney part of the "pre-9/11 conditions" as both Secretary of Defense under Bush 41 and also as VP under Bush 43? So is his point we can either vote for someone who will bring us back to "pre-9/11 conditions" or someone who helped to establish those "pre-9/11 conditions" in the first place??

I think I have used the term "9/11" more in this post than in any other post on this blog.

Nuts 4 Nuts

Speaking of funny things, I just rememebered something I saw the other day.

I was walking down the street and this guy who works the Nuts 4 Nuts cart was holding something in his hand while his friend was doing some sort of sewing motion on it. In fact, the Nuts 4 Nuts guy was holding a pigeon. I didn't want to know what his friend was doing. Rest assured, I will not be eating from Nuts 4 Nuts any time soon.

The KFB

The Kitchen Fresh Blog isn't generating the sort of hit count that I'd expected. Now it's sliding in the google search charts too. This leads to a theory:

A) It's not that entertaining.

B-1) I don't have enough friends.
B-2) I don't have enough friends reading the blog.

Or maybe it's all three. I think B-1 is invalid, but the problem is I don't want to subject my buddies to my complaining (leading to B-2). So I have to work on "A" and increase the entertainment value to this thing.

Plan A
I will be funnier

Plan B
I will force funnier things to happen to me

Yankees Phone Line

I'm on hold with the Yankees ticket office. I really like the Yankees but I'm half awake right now and all I want to know is if my game tickets are good for today's scheduled doubleheader (and it's pouring rain right now).

While on hold, instead of playing dopey music, the Yankees play Yankees radio highlights. Do I really need to hear this? Ugh. It's like propaganda. Some of these are Bubba Crosby highlights! Bubba Crosby! Give me a break. Bring back the lame elevator music.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Fantasy Football

I'm awful at Fantasy Football, however it's a great procrastination device.

Here is my team. In parentheses is the number of players at each position that we are starting.

QB (1) Marc Bulger, Byron Leftwich
RB (2) Rudi Johnson, Stephen Davis, Curtis Martin, Eddie George
WR (3) Darrell Jackson, Plaxico Burress, Donald Driver, Drew Bennett
TE (1) Anthony Becht
K (1) Olindo Mare
DEF (1) Buffalo, Denver

I think this team is okay but I'm not in love with it.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

US Open


View from Ashe Stadium at the US Open

Read the sign


Seriously...

Stupid things

One stupid thing I did and one stupid thing someone else did.

Mine: I tipped a cab driver $1.20 on a $14 ride. Just because I was a little tipsy doesn't excuse it.

Someone else's: Kevin Brown broke his hand punching a wall. Hey KB! The Yankees need you. I NEED YOU. You're on my fantasy team that's barely holding on to first place (just like the Yankees). I WANT TO WIN. Guess what? When you punch a wall, the wall usually wins.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Selling out

I just sold out and signed up for Google AdSense.

I hope I can make a few pennies (literally, it will be a few pennies) from this program.

It should be interesting, seeing as my site will probably get a ton of ads for the Republicans, the RNC and the Red Sox.

Yep. It's slow tonight.

Kobe

Well, the prosecution dropped the case against Kobe Bryant so looks like he gets to walk away with just a little blemish. The funny thing is that because he was accused of an assault, he had to admit to adultery. If he had kept a lid on it, he wouldn't have even had to admit adultery since the prosecution would have never been able to meet the burden of proof.

This sort of reminds me of Ray Lewis's murder trial where he took a plea to testify against his friends, who, despite his testimony, walked away free, while he had to pay some fine.

RNC 4

Okay... the Republicans are showing a cheesy video about W during this convention coverage. Did the Democrats do something like this and I just missed it? Ugh. This stuff is awful.

Addendum to Zell Miller comments in Post #3. This link is fairly intersting, trying to compare Miller "then" and "now". What's weird about it is how Zell Miller is shown condemning President Bush, but it's President Bush I, not Bush II.

Back on Tuesday, Arnold said, "...one of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention." What does that mean? Didn't he mean that they should have called their convention "Lies"? Were the Democrats telling lies that were true? That doesn't even make sense. I hope Arnold keeps dropping his catch phrases and movie puns into his speeches. It makes him amusing, even if the puns don't make sense.

On a lighter note, wouldn't it be great if a candidate at one of these conventions said,

"Mr. Chairman, delegates, guests, I have no intention of running for President of the United States. You all have said a lot of nice things about me all week, but I've decided that the job just isn't worth it. The pay isn't hot, and even though there are great security benefits, I think I'd rather be at home watching a ballgame."

Fall TV

I am so desperate to find things to blog that I will post the tv shows I plan on following this season. In addition, I will tease my first annual football picks by saying that my intention is to be more accurate than those "experts" despite using the same methods (guessing).

So here goes:

M-Thurs 11pm - The Daily Show
Tues 8:30pm - Scrubs
Wed 8pm - Smallville
Thurs 9pm - The Apprentice
Sun 10:30am - Meet the Press
Sun 8pm - The Simpsons

I've already missed the first episode of Scrubs. Damn! I wonder if it'll be re-run sometime soon. I think I'm all Law & Order'd out...

sold

Some guy sold 4000 shares of my blog two weeks ago. But who's buying? At $19 a share? I wouldn't pay three cents to read this thing and I hate pennies.

You know it's slow when you start linking to your own old posts...

RNC 3

That Senator Zell Miller is sure an angry fellow. If I were John Kerry, after the election, I think the first place I would go in Washington DC is to Zell Miller's office where I would immediately beat the piss out of him. It's probably appropriate win or lose. Just a good, solid, old-fashioned brow-beating.

The DNC speeches are available as "Audiobooks" on iTunes. As far as I can tell, the RNC speeches are not currently available, but since the speeches were produced by CSPAN, I can only imagine they will be there too.

Here's a question for you: Who screwed up more in August? John Kerry, The Yankees or the USA Men's Basketball team? Feel free to discuss.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

What time is it?

I have to be somewhere at 9am. When I woke up this morning, I looked over at the clock and said, "Crap! 8:30!" So I hopped out of bed with that little "oh no, I'll be completely late" rush of energy and looked over at the clock.

8:03.